Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
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Top comments
creativexangst 0
Okay, while this totally sucks, I'm so using it the next time I date someone really shitty.
Eir_fml 1
#2, totally, haha. I'd tell her that it doesn't work that way, that she needs to give a 2 week notice before the last one, to mentally prepare to remember it well.
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Comments (19)
creativexangst 0
Okay, while this totally sucks, I'm so using it the next time I date someone really shitty.
Eir_fml 1
#2, totally, haha. I'd tell her that it doesn't work that way, that she needs to give a 2 week notice before the last one, to mentally prepare to remember it well.
Maaarinouuu 3
... did you cheat on her?
extrasnipes 22
One does not need to be cheating to get dumped
Shallow_Padentic 0
well, what did you do?
Zir 0
#3 Just have sex with the mentality that "this one is the last" will spice things up too.
24788 6
She got you into a bad trap.
Zapdemon 0
dude, thats so lame.
blackwolf213 0
haha thats great, i mean sucks for you, but i want to use the line now
DynamicDave 11
That sucks for you, but I'm not gonna lie I literally lol'ed!
Crotcho_fml 0
bakata!!!!