Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
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Top comments
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
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Comments (301)
bladelix3 1
your sister was the stripper to jump. out of the cake I bet.
alexis1997 0
ya she was the striper
devendra_fml 0
is the whole world retarded or something?!
dvd175 5
*clap clap clap*
TheGuyOverThere 0
No shit, Sherlock
PeopleRSoDumb 0
#1, #2, and #5 are all RETARDED. This is an epic FML. Hilarious and original. Favorite.
jessxoxo28 5
thats just gross
JulzKay 0
... Are your PARENTS brother and sister? Did they have this FML happen to them, and roll with it anyways? =S
deafgirlwalking 0
no no no mate, *slow clap*
catiap 0
that's exactly what I was thoinking.......good 1
TheRipper_fml 0
What an idiot.
michael32123 0
I had the same happen.... with your mom!! Zing!
nothingbutnet003 0
at least it wasn't like that family guy scene. OH GOD.... COCONUT
hope143 0
bet your friends liked that!
lindsaylu98 0
no one guessed that... jeez kinda obvi!!!
jayyvonblood 18
No freaking duh!!
ad1836 19
Yes, yes they are.
beccartist 1
this doesn't make sense! was ur sister the stripper ther... cuz that's disturbing.
flawedgenius 6
no. what would be disturbing is if you were turned on by it
LightWater 0
^^^ This response. It's also really sad that both number 1 and 2 are equally stupid.
stibbons_fml 0
It's upsetting that I can only thumb this down once.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
@#75 Refresh the page and you can thumb it down again. Much more satisfying in cases of epic stupidity like that. :D
RandomGuy1234 0
Don't you just love family meetings? XD
TROLLINshitUP 0
first
Beast1226 0
poop
smnc 0
Beast1226 - you are hilarious :)
kitkatknicknack 12
211 and beast your stupid
Invasion976 6
*You're*
izzie321 27
I'm disappointed at how shitty the comments are. I was expecting something better for this FML.
tinetine_fml 0
This does not make sense.
anjyu22 0
I see this would make a good question on one of those reading comprehension exams.
CyclonePsycho 1
Fmylife.com should be one big reading comprehension test.
MissNicky_fml 0
His sister was the stripper
Life_is_FML 22
Stupidity. Do I have to spell it out for you? Really? My 3 year old cousin could've gotten that. " FML; now a comprehension test" Btw, you failed it.
Azura94 0
awkward turtle :/
lolkaela 6
no.
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Wow you're the first person to understand! Thumbs up to you! (no sarcasm..the people above you are just really stupid and don't understand)
spoo 24
Part of me is thinking.... hey sis, you need to introduce me to some of your co-worker friends :)
MrsDruidess 23
I personally don't think OP has any right to be upset that his sister is a striper, upset that she was the one in the cake yes, but its hypocritical to want a striper and be upset that your sister is one. Just a thought.
gobbledegook 0
are you a guy?
TripleJumpMan 0
what the **** kind of girl would want to have a stripper jump out of a cake?
R0lling_St0ner 0
uhhh lets think for a second shall we....hmmm what kinda girl would want another girl to strip for her??? oh I know a lesbian you moron
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Too bad a lesbian would hardly be named "Jon" and put in "male" as the gender. Moron.
fiblydinkerton 0
Probs not
TallMist 32
#253 I'm a bisexual girl and I'd be pleasantly surprised to see a stripper in my cake. I wouldn't purposely hire a stripper myself, but I wouldn't complain if someone did that for me. That is, unless I really wanted a quiet day.
threer 30
Male strippers exist.
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
Mnemic 6
But didn't his sister recognize the address? o.O
Sinisin2010 0
I doubt they were at their home. But it would be better if she gave him a lap dance before figuring it out.
MacKeracher 4
F**king gross man. No, no.
cradle6 13
Clever fml, funny. is it very plausible? I really doubt it. although it'd make a good sitcom episode.
flawedgenius 6
Actually. I think it has been used in a sitcom. but cant remember what. Stand up routines have covered this. and definitely a film (one example being Erika Eleniak in "Under Siege") there are probably others.
untoldfame 3
so....is she hot?
FPsLife 5
An answer to this question is required.
mushoo_fml 0
As are pictures.
HeyItsWill12 0
and cake
capilot 10
The cake is a lie
iBlazer 0
Win.
DragonMasterMF 0
No the cake is real, you must first go through the portals to find it.
SecsNoises 6
You can get to the cake in portal. Somehow. Just have to trick that nasty GLaDOS...
NaturalSelection_fml 0
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
nebula748 14
dammit i wanted to do that