Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
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Top comments
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
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Comments (301)
funnyman95 0
I hope you were a good brother and helped her get all that frosting off still :)
perdix 31
Or, at least not add MORE frosting ;)
l1douchhe1l 0
got em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Penetration 0
Would you like me to num the area?
BnaLovesZsk25 0
ew. that's all i have to say to that.
maddehsaurr 0
xD
hoopstar15 0
eww funnyman ur a perv
firesetsboy 0
well is your sister at least a hot stripper cuz if she is i'll so hire her for a night
beccartist 1
oh. sorry I get it now.
mshafty 0
So what trailer park does your family live in??
ily1210 10
this comment made my day. and OP, fyl, ohmygod i wouldve been so disturbed
ILIEKGIRLS 5
lmao.
ididitmyself 0
ya...all strippers are from trailer parks. right.
luvuall 0
lol you seem offended
bertiebass1 5
oh dear
shamille 5
why is everyone on here stating the obvious?
betseyville 6
idk but it's really annoying.
j_3m 2
second the really annoying. i guess some people just don't get a clear message that even has the poster's gender in parentheses, not to mention his name.
suze_fml 1
Some people use apps on their phone and it doesn't give all that info. U talk about people being dumb, well learn before you speak.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Even on the phone, context makes this FML obviously easy to understand. And besides, the gender of OP doesn't matter. If OP was a lesbian hiring a stripper girl for the cake, she'd still be shocked to find out that the stripper was her sister. Being straight or gay doesn't changes that sort of thing. What worries me most about the imbecilic comments is that it feels like FML was invaded by little children?? Feels like the holidays vacations all over again. -_-; Seems like the only reason for this level of clueless stupidity. Because seriously, if those are adults posting at the beginning of the comment page, I've lost all hope in mankind. :-/
JokingJoe 0
number 17 is funny. this belongs in the top 10 FML's. btw, happy birthday bro.
Tikwichka 5
I would love to have seen both of your faces when you recognised each other :oD
fatty_in_cali 0
does she have nice ****?