Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
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Comments (107)
FritoLovesYou 0
Learn some manners, man. YDI.
jakedmagic 0
Your comment annoys me.
Alexandrianz 0
Well.. Atleast your car has awesome new shades of brown:)
cowgod 0
give a gift back by giving him shades of black and blue
egaonogenki 0
To the hobos: THAT'S WHAT McDONALD'S AND THE ABUNDANT OTHER PUBLIC STORES ARE FOR!!! Geesh, haven't these bums EVER heard of a "PUBLIC RESTROOM?"
mushoo_fml 0
You can walk while pooping?
newmanlyman3 8
that's way my cat and dog bit me ... on the rug
SMOKEWEED420420 0
FAKE OMG SO FAKE GET A LIFE FAKER
lizzzie_fml 0
'By' your car. Not 'on' your car. So does it matter? Nope.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
stuffhappens223 7
Ur cool :)
MermaidSongXOXO 6
.
pureamber 0
i woulda chased him back screaming 'GET AWAY FROM MY HOME!!!!' then spit on him.
GJMO 0
then u are a loser
bishoprsv2 0
Rofl? Yes it is!
anniemarie 0
hahahaha wow. so funny
flgirlwguitar 2
This is why you have a cell phone you can call the cops with.
z411811 0
I hate these "today I learned" ones
BigK_Diet_Cola 1
Your car poops? That's an FML in its own right.