Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
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Comments (107)
Avenging_Angel 0
The way you worded this makes it sound like the car was the one taking a shit, not the hobo.
Joeboy777 0
i saw this one in the madoration section. i didnt vot it
lil_cig 0
#4: actually, it's hobo shit.
FarSide 23
So, why would you walk up by your car, pooping? You couldn't wait until you got to a bathroom?
FarSide 23
Kiddo, you ought to try and get out of NYC sometime. You have gotten too used to people pissing and ******** on your sidewalks.
Dubstep_fml 1
perdix are you plexico?
jonny2x4 0
Hobo sounds so old-timey. Why doesn't everyone just use the word "bum" instead.
jchansfan 0
That'd make this FML confusing lmao "If you walk up to a bum pooping by your car, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML" "Wait, who's Bum is pooping o_O'"
flower_power96 0
this should be on mylifeisaverage.com not fmylife, thats 2 cool 2 f your life
bubbles94 0
Not an FML, but holy shit that's funny! lmfao
clccvideo 0
did he beat you up or something? why do you say the hard way? I would have gotten in whatever side he wasn't near and started up the car, slammed him in the ass with the door and taken off! ha ha :)