Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
akallaan 7
Damn you!
msworldwide 8
yes, how could you OP?!
Jjimen1654 9
Being a whethear man must be horrible, ppl hate op for stuff thats not even his fault.
Blue_Black_fml 21
#30, the way you spelled what was supposed to be the word "weather" made me cry a little..
RedDragonx32 8
its because ur the one that gives the bad news. and the idiots who watch tv and have no idea ur just letting them.know for their safety and interests blame u.
JACKxRAWR 22
#1, #20, I made us all matching tinfoil hats. :)
Jjimen1654 9
#60 it's very unfortunate that something so meaningless would make you cry. Im sorry.
dancinwookie 21
Jjimen1654, I've spoken out against the grammar Nazis before, but "whethear"? You somehow managed to mash 'whether' with what may have been 'weather'. Now look at my profile picture.
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
hellachillin 8
OP predicted he would have a normal day today. Bad move for a weatherman
Since1998 20
Oh, so now suddenly after all the history of the world, a weather man can now control the weather. Goddamn people these days.
karen1991 15
Small time weather man by day and super ninja by night. I think he read one to many comic books.
domking1315 20
This is probably already a super hero
browneyedgirl52 13
Harming the American Association of Retired People? Sounds like the kind of organization that would summon natural disasters.
AustinDillon3Fan 10
For some reason, when I first read your comment, I thought it said "retarded" instead of "retired". Lol
badboyinc88 1
Haarp actually stands for high frequency active auroral research program
mattiscg 22
wow didn't think many people knew about the black bag project
ironichalibut 24
Can't help but wonder what does that acronym Stand for, according to this nut job?
ironichalibut 24
Beaten by a minute! Harbingers against American regional peace? That's the bet I've got, the one above is better.
domking1315 20
High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. Its like hundreds of these cell phone towers in alaska that have the potential power and energy to drastically change the weather. The program exsists but theres a conspiracy that the government uses/will use it to destroy the world or some crazy mess like that
cmayer 20
HAARP is one of my favorite conspiracy theories. Mostly bc the believers blame every single weather anomaly on HAARP. It boggles the mind.
AngrySailor 17
There are all sorts or theories about HAARP. Some interesting stuff, weather manipulation, alien communications/technology, world power grid, suppressed technology originally developed by Nikola Tesla. Hard to believe they aren't up to "something" in Alaska!
MuseFan1991 14
it's also the name of Muse's 2008 tour :P
musicalnoodles23 5
99, that's the only thing I could think of when I read this fml and its comments.
badboyinc88 1
Haarp can trigger weather activity it is Nikola Teslas design with his dated instruments he was able to do many magnificent things with tiny instruments 70 years ago while most people are not as brilliant as tesla the technology has improved so who actually knows
bamagrl410 31
I've actually never heard of this theory before now. Am I the only one?
warturtle 14
Your cover is blown! You now must hide.
_GoodGuy 11
Quick, run! Your cover has been blown.
browneyedgirl52 13
Blown by the tornado!
Kiki242 19
First rule of haarp. Don't talk about haarp.
PenguinBitch 44
*Goes to check HAARP on Facebook and sees that 2925 people are talking about it. D:
joawmeens 7
Second rule of HAARP: figure out how to pronounce HAARP, but only so you can be sure to avoid talking about it.
ColdplaySucks 18
Do you happen to have silver hair?
Mynameislinh 24
He's onto us... We must relocate our organization of meteorologists!!