By Anonymous - 9/6/2021 14:02

Baby fever

Today, it's the fifth long-term boyfriend I’ve dumped because I want to be a mother but they didn’t want to be fathers. In fact, the last one laughed in my face and told me he’d be willing to get a cat, because cats require less effort than dogs, and don’t interrupt his PS4 time after work. FML
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By  mike3775  |  33

Not all men want kids. Before I got married the first time, I always told girlfriends I don’t want kids, and many of the women told me it wouldn’t work out, and I totally understood.

You should have mentioned that you wanted to have kids before the men became “long term”

By  QueenSaru  |  28

This. As a woman who never wants kids, this is definitely a 'make it or break it' thing that you discuss on the first date. No point in getting invested if your life goals don't align.

COMMENTS
By  mike3775  |  33

Not all men want kids. Before I got married the first time, I always told girlfriends I don’t want kids, and many of the women told me it wouldn’t work out, and I totally understood.

You should have mentioned that you wanted to have kids before the men became “long term”

Reply
  QueenSaru  |  28

This. As a woman who never wants kids, this is definitely a 'make it or break it' thing that you discuss on the first date. No point in getting invested if your life goals don't align.

Reply
  mickymoose1  |  15

No it's really not. it's really important to be on the same page for these sorts of things and talk about them early in the relationship so you don't go 5 years and feel like youre ready for the next stage of your life and then learn your partner and you don't have the same goals for your lives. If my partner didn't want kids that'd be a deal breaker for me but we talked about it on our second date so I know that we have the same goals and won't come into this problem in the future so we both decided to continue with the relationship. we're going on 3 years now, live together, and still no kids because although were in a loving, long term, committed relationship, we understand that currently, were not in a place to start a family. just because someone is searching for someone to start a family first, doesn't mean theres something off about them. it just means they don't want to continue fucking around with just anyone. they're searching for someone to build a life with.

By  FrankHotpants  |  31

That is unfortunate and I think the best thing to do is simply let your intentions be known from the beginning. Perhaps also an evaluation as to the type of men you’re dating could help, maybe they’re all too young or just red flags in general that point to less mature/stable suitors.

By  Yummi_913  |  15

When you first start dating someone the topic of kids needs to come up early (which you probably already know). Even if it could scare them off. I know a lot of people say "I'd like to have kids SOME DAY" but that's not really getting the point across because a lot of men will take that as "okay so when you're 35+, that's no big deal". Some of them even think 40's+ because they have no concept of our biological clock. When in reality you're aiming for late 20's or earlier. So next time be more blunt and upfront maybe? I told my current partner when we decided to date "I want kids by 25 so tell me if you're on board or if I would be wasting my future on you". It scared him silly but we continued on the topic and he pretty much understood that this was NOT something anyone was going to manipulate me out of after dating a bit, and that they're either a match for me or they need to get lost. I really drove home the "if you don't want kids BY THIS AGE RANGE we are not a match and will not be dating". We only have one short life to live and there's no use wasting it on someone who doesn't intend to take yours seriously in the first place.

Side note: don't be so in a hurry to have kids that you have them with someone you barely know. They could end up being abusive, neglectful, or dangerous around children. A lot of the time it's a giant red flag when a guy is willing to have kids right off the bat. I've seen this happen to people and it doesn't end well. Having a GOOD home for your children is just as, if not more important, as having them in the first place!