Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
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Top comments
pbonham 22
Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!
LGuard 13
Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.
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Comments (78)
LGuard 13
Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.
DreBeezy 9
So OP couldn't have just said, "Not tonight, Mom." She could've very well needed you for something that night. Way to be an ass OP.
GodPart2 20
Mighty inconsiderate of you OP... maybe your mum wanted some "alone time" with your dad... :-)
winnerme123 8
Why is that psychotic? sudoku is many peoples best friend.
nado13579 12
30- Yes, because doing Sudoku is what's wrong with OP. -__-
Marcella1016 32
10 - Nope OP couldn't have said that, because clearly she's very insecure. And I'm sure her mom saw right through that. OP, we grown-ups understand a lot more than you think...we were teens once, too. And believe it or not, life gets better, so don't worry :)
cliffibom 15
I'm sorry but your life seems a little sad
DarthDeath 12
I don't know how you managed to get a "little" sad from this. This is terrible. D:
ArielTheMermaid 17
How is your mom asking whether or not you have plans prying, exactly? She's just wondering. No need to act like an ass. Just a thought, but perhaps that's why you have no social life?
howrudoin 11
Thats quite pathetic OP.
AssassinsCRB 0
I know right? How hard is it to make a friend...
Kamon97 23
And OP wonders why she has nobody to hang hot with...
pbonham 22
Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!
XKXKKXK 10
She brought you into this life, OP. She can take you out of it.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah, back the way you came!!
perdix 31
She wasn't mean for no reason -- she was trying to divert her mom's attention. It may have been a stupid, shitty reason, but it was a reason nevertheless.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Why is perdix being thumbed down? It's true, she did give a reason. Even if it /was/ all hunky-dory.
pbonham 22
All I have to say back to 61 and 74 is... Shut up!
your_ma 27
Being an asshole to your mum for no reason is not okay. Also, she probably saw through it. Also, stop waiting for friends and a social life to happen to you while you sit on your ass playing sodoku. If you want a social life make it happen for yourself!
fuzz97 23
Although, judging from the way OP treats her mom, the reason she doesn't have any friends is pretty apparent.
Ynasia 5
This is why I fear having kids. On one hand, many kids are wonderful and respectful--on the other, they act like spoiled brats. And...people's parents have a right to know where their kid will be going. Honestly, first world problems -.-
happyconverse 10
I agree with your comment!!!
chellyX92 8
It's not your moms fault you are a looser.
pcentral 17
A looser? Wow. Go read a dictionary. Or learn how to Google. For the sake of humanity.
Futacy 30
And that doesn't make OP a loser, she's just an introvert. You should really think before you start typing. ("looser", really?)
Enslaved 38
Soy un perdedor I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
ForeverEminem1 5
i think he actually spelt loser like that on purpose. he dragged out the o so it would be written as he would say it in person.
Bluekaren16 19
Or 6 was trying to call OP a ****?
chellyX92 8
Nope just dyslexia. But thanks guys.
blondecat 6
AHEM AHEM *loser sorry I had to.
fuzz97 23
No, 93, you really didn't.
pbonham 22
How were we supposed to know you were dyslexic?!?! I hate when people pull out the sympathy card and make them feel guilty when they didn't even know the situation!!!
BicPlease 3
Sorry, grammar doesn't work that way. :-/
chellyX92 8
I know plenty of people with no social life and have jobs. My manager is one. He talks about his dog to no end.
zee12101 11
I love sudoku. But still..you need to get a life!
Outnuendo 8
So your idea to divert attention is to...get all defensive to the point where your mom probably suspects that you don't have a social life. Slick as oil
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You are such a moron, OP.
vintage3113 6
Creative!
Rainbow_dumpster 28
What I meant to say was that OP didn't have to lie you could've said, "Oh, Nothing. I just want to finish my Sudoku puzzle." I was on my phone and my auto-correct system was acting an ass.
MindFreakazoid 10
Yes because your auto correct squished all of what you just said into OP being a moron? No. You thought that would get upvotes, and so when it didn't, and you couldn't edit it, you commented again. Making yourself look worse. Please do try harder next time.