Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm confused - are the white stripes on the back of your thighs where your legs touched the seat, or is that where the pee dripped down the backs of your le... Oh, **** it, it doesn't matter. You're an idiot regardless.
BelleIsa_fml 6
An orange toilet bowl... Well at least more original than the usual white ones
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Comments (155)
KM96 24
Interesting. Sorry for that OP. I hope it can be corrected
SkoomaKi 28
I don't get why people tan? You turn orange, personally i don't think its beautiful at all! What's wrong with being natural?
ladyLALAA 29
I get spray tanned every week, only lightly and mine is brown, never orange. I tried a natural tan and that when slightly orange. Moral of the story, don't trust "natural" spray tans.
br0dawg 6
Wasn't there a recent news story on the increasing risk of melanoma (not from spray tanning)? Anyway, yeah 13, I don't get it either. Everytime I see a chick with a spray tan, I'm led to believe she has at least three pictures on her facebook with her doing the duckface while looking bug-eyed at the camera. And if a dude spray tans? Blerrgh.
ladyLALAA 29
Guys definitely should not be spray tanning. I don't know about the melanoma I thought that was just from using sunbeds?
siickman 7
Tanning is good but not a lot... Spray tans should be last option in my opinion... Some people just cant tan..... So spray tan is there to help... Dont become oompa loompa colored doe... Thats just ugly looking
Rachel8843 6
Haha(: Last year a guy in my class spray tanned himself!! oh gawwdd! He looked like a ompa lompa! Everybody was telling him that:P
ladyLALAA 29
40 the guy in your picture could do with some tan in his life.
SkoomaKi 28
44 That guy is a gay hippy from....dare I say it....One Direction
Ezio1743 1
Well sunbeds and the sun are theoretically the exact same thing.. They both use UV rays except one is also sustaining life while the other only cooks your body into a nice strip of human bacon
TheBonzaiGirl 0
It's Canada (aka the land of no sun) people would've known your tan was a pseudo tan anyways! ;)
_Oblivion_ 12
to me vhicks just look stupid tanning in the winter, you get tan in the summer not winter
shannonreneee 11
I think people who lay out in the sun or sun bed purposely to get a tan are as stupid as the oompa loompas
MissHayleyJames 7
The only people who should spray tan are bodybuilders and people going to do a photo shoot. There are some spray tans that don't leave you orange, but they're still obviously fake. I've been to enough bodybuilding shows to know. Granted tanning beds and laying in the sun should be limited. As good as it feels, the akin cancer in 10 years just isn't worth it.
sadandbroke20 18
Its called bleach people use it and just respray the area it rubbed off
BelleIsa_fml 6
An orange toilet bowl... Well at least more original than the usual white ones
KM96 24
Ha ha yeah totally! I wonder wha visitors might think !
karkid619 8
Yeah because white is to mainstream.
muFilter 19
.. as orange-striped is to alternative.
deLongenator 4
That's why you perform the hover!!!
mannykiddo 3
Racing stripes! they make you go aster.
LadyGore 12
Spray tans FTL. YDI for even using one IMO.
ComTlancy 12
When will women learn that looking like an Oompa Loompa is not attractive? Then again Jersey Shore has made guys do the same. Why can we look all natural? Everyone looks more beautiful that way.
KeyboardWarrior 10
No, no, no! You misunderstand. She's a descendant of the infamous race of hucks! It's a human-duck hybrid. They are notorious for making their duck faces in evey picture they take, and occasionally let in a quack or two during speech. These are not a very rare species mind you. They can be found all over Facebook. Happy stalking.
The_Hitdude 12
KeyboardWarrior-Don't you love how she took it in the middle of a public restroom? I wonder what awkward dialogue went on before the pic was taken.
cajekraze 7
Agreed. The only thing worse than leathery, cancer ridden skin, from years of beautiful tans, is wasting the beautiful tan years as an Oompa Loompa
randomkayx3 11
Should've squatted or something :)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Pfft, always trying to do things the easy way I see. What she should've done was do a backwards handstand and tried to arc it into the toilet bowl. That's what all the cool kids are doing nowadays.
jessknodt 0
Wear pants 24/7 no one will notice. They'll be to busy looking at your orange face.
Nightwing98 22
She should've went into the shower and just let it go
david_ezekias 8
it would've been easier for a guy!
randomkayx3 11
Guess I'm not a cool kid :(
likeaarbear 1
GENIUS LOL.
louielove19 4
Aha well goodluck with that
defferwa 9
Lol that fag deserves it for sitting down to pee. Stand and piss like a man!
ClassyCommando 13
OP is a woman, dude. An orange woman. A female Oompa-Loompa, if you will.
DontForgetMe4 0
I'm sorry, I thought that it was obvious not to touch anything?
yahoowizard 16
Haha, fail on my part since i thought it was a guy and thought he missed the toilet or something. Though, yeah, i feel it was something that could have been foreseen
dlohoh978 8
I thought I was the only one :)
Complaining 13
I've never really heard occurs wanting tans. Hm. XD
emba_fml 13
guess its time to try getting a real tan
aimeejessica 0
i've done this with a white couch...
africanelephants 7
You tried to pee on a couch?
CookieGirl4ever 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^ I wish there was a sarcastic font, so I knew when people were joking or not... anyways... funny if you were joking... "really?" if you're not...
CookieGirl4ever 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry... v-.-" ...didn't mean to make everyone hate me that much... T-T ...I've always been afraid of getting disliked enough for my comment to get burried... it was supposed to be a joke... v._.v ...but I'm sorry. T_T
CookieGirl4ever 13
I literally thought I was going to cry... I said I was sorry... it wasn't even offensive... it was just a bad joke... T-T ...I'm sorry.
CookieGirl4ever 13
... v._.v
CookieGirl4ever 13
I hope you guys are proud of making a 13 year old cry. I'd love to know how f•cking perfect you are.
KunoKanashimi 3
Mountain out of a molehill, dear, mountain out of a molehill.
CookieGirl4ever 13
...v-_-" ... Idk what to do ... no matter wtf I do I get hated ... over a bad joke ... that I tried about 10 times to apologize for.
BradTheBrony 19
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koolkat27 13
CookieGirl: Welcome to the Internet.
ladyLALAA 29
OP that sucks, nothing worse than a streaky tan, should have gone to a professional... Or held it until your tan dried. Good luck evening that one out, fyl!