Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML
Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML
Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML
Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML
Today, I was thinking about this girl who I have feelings for. I haven't talked to her in three years, and recently developed these feelings. Out of curiosity, I asked her friend what NOT this girl's type is. She pretty much described me. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
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Top comments
antwon86 4
Your friends an ass but probably has a point somewhere in there. Your a guy and she's a girl so she knows about her own gender.
DocBastard 40
Assuming you're an ugly, stupid, boring, smelly, hairy, boorish, obnoxious lout, I'd say she's right on the money.
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Comments (89)
antwon86 4
Your friends an ass but probably has a point somewhere in there. Your a guy and she's a girl so she knows about her own gender.
kikidi 6
Because our sex share the same opinion
antwon86 4
Not sure if there was some sarcasm there.....
Jakesterk96 8
Yea but "don't be yourself" is too vague.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
If his personality is that bad, I feel sorry for the woman he lures in pretending to be somebody else. If he makes changes, they have to be permanent and become a part of him. Otherwise it's all a useless act that will ultimately end in disappointment.
nava1210 12
23 - you can see into the future?!?! 28 didn't post yet! =O
antwon86 4
#14..... I completely agree... Maybe if she pointed out a flaw like saying, "your to straight forward." would have helped but what his friend said was slightly critical.
DeboDaGreat 3
Don't ask for an opinion if your going to get all butt hurt.. You asked, and she told ya lol
Angel_Cacey 7
OP maybe your friend likes you and doesn't want you to be with someone else? Idk just a thought
nerdlyfe101 4
When did honesty become a bitch?
DeadxManxWalking 27
**** that. I'll be myself cause sooner or later you'll know the real me that I'd be "trying not to be"
warlockplayer19 5
Holy crap 23 you can see into the future
ShroomsOnAcid 17
And you apparently can see into the past, 64.
kaoticllama 1
She doesn't know the feelings of every girl in the world because of gender
antwon86 4
#57.... I hope you die
PYLrulz 17
Some women can be total *****
EatnBeef 7
Guy: be you're god dang self.. Girl: be good at making sandwiches. That guide should help both genders.
djsamixin 3
That's ******* great! Hahaha I like more advanced cooking skills though.
mylover97 2
K,no not all women are And im sure we prefere not to be called that and any women that likes that then some women are insane and another thing if u want to be an ass fine just dont say any thing publicly
PYLrulz 17
K... Now can you say that in legible sentences? Please?
chimcharx3 15
Yeah. Some women are total *****. I'll be first to admit it. But it's not like all guys are perfect. There are assholes in both genders.
smallsmerry123 5
Who let 58 out of the kitchen?
zadie 6
She might not have been! Maybe he was a jerk, or really perverted. Then again, she may have just been a ****.
smallsmerry123 5
Doesnt matter had se- oh wait, never mind.
Pixxio_O 11
Felt so good when I did it with my PE.. Hand..
Jakesterk96 8
WTF? Sex wasn't even nearly mentioned.
rallets 23
sexual tension doesnt need to be mentioned
thebeautybleeds 17
At least she was honest...?
pjmommy 9
not a true friend
ImInYourFACEbook 8
Or just a bluntly honest friend. Sometimes the truth hurts.
DocBastard 40
Assuming you're an ugly, stupid, boring, smelly, hairy, boorish, obnoxious lout, I'd say she's right on the money.
Schizomaniac 24
Well sorry we can't all be rich, successful, intelligent, funny, amorous, high-achieving surgeons. **** YOU, DOC.
Swiftly 0
No, **** YOU!
Phil135 4
No, **** me ;)
Dracoboxer357 36
Um, not that I'm defending Doc here as he can fight his own battles, but Schitzo, you kinda can be most everything listed: If you're smelly, bathe. Hairy, shave. Obnoxious, talk less. Boring, do/learn something new and exciting. Stupid, read more and ask questions. Even ugly can be dulled down and flattered with the right apparel/make up/whatnot. And I believe most anyone Could be in a successful, lucradive profession....given enough dedication/determination, and willingness to sacrifice or trade your personal life to do so. However, I kinda get the feeling you don't actually care about that at all, this looks a bit like an emotional/personal reaction to Doc, and if that's the case.....carry on. :)
DocBastard 40
Draco, Schizo is just mad because I'm sexier than he. MUCH sexier.
Slimshots 8
I didn't come on the internet to be told how to live successfully, #45. In fact, the internet is where I go to learn how to be UNsuccessful.
mylover97 2
Obviously
Dracoboxer357 36
Slim, I don't believe I was talking to you specifically. This Is an open forum, people share thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc. These are simply mine, and no one said you have to care what I wrote. :) The fact you responded says you do. Now I'm curious as to why. Hit a nerve about your own past failures perhaps? Feel like you're lacking something in your life that you cannot or will not change? Interesting.
Slimshots 8
My only past failure is marketing Slimshots. I don't even receive sponsorship for it.
Dracoboxer357 36
61- Lol, my friend, if that's your only past flop, you are doing incredibly well. :) Kudos to you for getting provoked into responding emotionally/defensively with a string of swears, btw. I was expecting less, but pleasantly surprised to have underestimated you. Very mature of you. :) (Note to self: Must google what slimshots are. No idea if it's a gadget or candy....)
Slimshots 8
omg u fukin prik how dare u judge me! Slimshots are these little things that you drink and they melt pounds away. Statements not yet approved by the FDA.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ (Er, that was to be Kudos for Not getting provoked. :p ) Lol! Ah, I see. I was going to ask if they work well but if you're marketing them, you might be obliged to answer yes either way..... ;)
girl112891 7
You guys made me forget what the FML even was! Thanks! Thanks allot!
girl112891 7
I remember dating this total hotty I knew from high school who came from Moscow, blond curls, hazel eyes, charming smile topped with adorible dimples... Dreamy *sign*... And also very smart. But, he kind of had very little confidence and it was a turn off. So it never worked. Just a story I wanted to throw out there.
Dracoboxer357 36
81- Should I say I'm sorry for thread-jacking? Okay, I'm sorry. :) Your story is more relevant than my ramblings, lack of confidence is a turn off a lot of people. :)
Michael912 3
Well at least she was honest im sure not all girls feel like that though
FrankHotpants 31
Obviously some guys need more help then others, and in your case you need to start from the beginning.
picklemonger 13
Trust me buddy: I feel your pain!
ICATiger 13
I'm going to use this wise advice....
BiGxMoE_fml 0
Use it... If ur the dude on ur picture or look like him!!!