Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking dinner when my smoke alarm started beeping. I opened the windows, turned on the fan, and checked everything twice. I then realized the noise wasn't the smoke alarm. It was my oven timer. I'd been cooking completely normally and panicking for no reason. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, I was making dinner when the smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and stood there waving a towel at it like an idiot. Then I realized that the alarm was coming from the apartment next door. FML
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML
Today, I was making dinner when my smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and waved a towel underneath it. After ten minutes, I realized the alarm wasn't reacting to the food. Its battery was dying. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML
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Top comments
rocker_chick105 31
OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF! OP: Oh, dinners done!
juanaranda1015 4
Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.
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Comments (51)
juanaranda1015 4
Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Carefully following the recipe in a cookbook should be enough to prevent charred food. Good lord.
rocker_chick105 31
OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF! OP: Oh, dinners done!
thatgirlinoregon 21
Note to OP's family- that shrieking device on the wall is NOT a timer.
I_Punch_Babies 7
I think the food is ready before that particular buzzer goes off
Blacksxe 1
Well seeing how the food is probably burnt... Did you order Chinese?
KiddNYC1O 22
That's an insult to ma.
Honda288 2
Or pizza, both are good alternatives.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Dinner must be delicious.
DrMime 10
My mom's cooking is even worse, some of her ingredients weren't even street legal! Ever wonder how a mime gets his pale complexion or supernatural abilities?
RyanMacVey 17
#17 - Edward Cullen is a mime?
degrassieclare 5
I was thinking face paint and practice? Considering the fact that mimes aren't super humans and are just good entertainers and illusionists.
mpsteve137 15
You should go a little lighter on the fire mam
EvilTwerp 12
If the fire alarm went off because of water burning, then someone needs to stay out of the kitchen. (Yes, I do realize that water can't be burnt, or at least to my knowledge)
tylersign 11
That could prove pretty useful. Also, the wording of this FML was pretty bad.. Just saying.
perdix 31
I'm sure your neighbors are delighted with the noise and the stench. Lot of bricks coming through your windows? YDI.
Just_ol_Kole 0
I love a good bridge between comments, kinda like the bridge your neighbors built across their yard in order to get close enough to accurately heave bricks through your windows in their act of disapproval.
WCARlover 35
"I got to be reminded" is really weird wording...but if you were helping her couldn't you have prevented it just as well as she could've?
lizzypooh36 18
that's how we know when my mom is done cooking! we call her smokey lol