Miscellaneous: Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when... - FML

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 222

You deserved it 2 823

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 313

You deserved it 2 631

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 362

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 433

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 653

You deserved it 3 317

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 958

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 133

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 636

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 951

You deserved it 3 195

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 05:31 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 424

You deserved it 4 841

Freeze

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 00:02

Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 74

Next

Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:53

OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF! OP: Oh, dinners done!

juanaranda1015 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.

Comments

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:40

Stop, drop, and roll

marilyn2012 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:09

Gross :(

elena96 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:20

Same here haha

lacrosseplaya 13

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:45

Same at my house

shrdlu 28

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:48

I've always wanted to write a recipe that says "Cook until smoke detector goes off".

rodster11224 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:38

I could just imagine just sittin there watching tv With ur bros when all of the sudden the fire alarm goes off and u say "looks like the cake is done"

JohhnyKeroscene 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:37

why would i prevent it? a little sizzle doesnt hurt, infact its flavorful *drool* its like beef jerky, but in a verity! :D

proudmom2011 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 12:26

Hey that was our saying growwing up. Dinner isn't ready till the smoke alarm goes off. Haha my mom would forget it

jasonfawcett 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 14:50

its actually a smoke alarm.. the fire alarm has to be manually pulled :P

kodyrsswanson 6

Thursday 2 February 2012 17:58

Dinner bell

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Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 72

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 053

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 734

You deserved it 1 911

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 299

You deserved it 36 085

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 147

You deserved it 3 370

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 206

Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 867

You deserved it 2 562

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 297

You deserved it 4 383