Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
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Top comments
adropofpeace 8
Merry Christmas OP. Your mom apparently has a nose for alcohol like a bloodhound.
jworret 0
Did she have a key??? If so take it from her!
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Comments (74)
panicbunny 0
First:D let thehate begin
adropofpeace 8
Merry Christmas OP. Your mom apparently has a nose for alcohol like a bloodhound.
1221jamw 11
Maybe she celebrates christmas with her family? Then everyone left then the mom came back? And how are women getting stoves with Internet connection? Back to work! Ha Im joking. Women are also good at other things. Like cleaning.
imaginaryvoice 18
Did she leave the empty bottle? If not then that's very inconsiderate of her
1221jamw 11
20- Don't respond to number one, if not talking to them, fuckball.
imaginaryvoice 18
22- Yes, mommy.
waswashere 0
22- ................GOOD ONE
StoryOfTheYear 15
Has anyone seen my troll? The leash snapped when I was walking it and I can't seem to find it despite the size of it's very large head.
1221jamw 11
Story, I'm right here. Now can you stop with the shock collar?
StoryOfTheYear 15
SNOOKUMS! There you are. You almost gave me a heart attack.
1221jamw 11
Sorry, I took a bullet to the face for almost mentioning a arrow to the knee joke.
Muslimgal92 0
I would call the police! As harsh as it sounds this may be as a wake up call for your mom to get help!
n_epic_fail 14
Your mom is an alcoholic ninja...
frankothetanko 0
police on your mommy who gave birth to the young lady? I think not
tatababe 1
Kick her alcoholic ass
SparklyCuntt 12
49, OP doesn't owe their mum shit just because she gave birth to them. That's the most bullshit argument I've ever heard.
jworret 0
Did she have a key??? If so take it from her!
Kefka91 15
26 - the mother stole from Nocturne? We must join together as the mistress' nightingales and retrieve it!
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Then OP would gain more luck and maybe get some more expensive wine. Everybody wins except OP's mum, she will have to die if there's any hope of recovering the key.
1221jamw 11
How on earth did she get out of her kitchen?
tkdgold03 5
haha sounds like a ninja move to me.. better watch out for that one... sneaky.
Liimitless 6
You would know all about ninja moves since you have a black belt.
1221jamw 11
Lmao 29, I hate to ask but, how do you know this?
Liimitless 6
Put it this way, i was not at all stalking her profile.
margie2194 12
Sounds like something I would do... Forever alone :(
StoryOfTheYear 15
You naughty person. >:( I have no coal, but here's a thumbs down.
frankothetanko 0
I hate when people complain about the things they do themselves
mauguster 15
Sounds like something I would thumbs down .. Forever buried
ImmenseCabbage 0
People these days. That's sad, I'm sorry OP :(
JadedJarOfHearts 3
Sneaky.....
persianjr1 7
You should try investing in a new lock, if she's an alcoholic, she wont figure out for a while.
iahntajonera 3
Hubbee dattard senweelee
jordantiner 0
Tragic.. What r you gonna do now that your like sucks....