Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML
Foot, meet mouth
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML
Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML
Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML
Light 5
Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
I'm doing the thing
Today, I failed a final presentation. My partner, who did none of the research, presented the entire project, talking over me and glaring when I spoke up. He denied everything and the professor didn't believe me. Now I have to retake this class with the same professor. FML
Top comments
MichellinMan 20
Tell him his mom should have had an abortion.
tylersign 11
Leave his class, so he is now a former teacher. That'll backfire on him.
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Comments (212)
HeroicPeanut 3
Laugh My Ass Off
Shrike 24
oh just shove your hands back up your ass so you can save me having to read stupid comments like yours, peanut
margie2194 12
He's one of THOSE professors. The trick is to bring him coffee and compliment him on his awesomely brilliant, yet quirky tie... And that's how you patronize a crazy prof
worldcupcheer17 0
for some reason while reading this I thought of the teacher from mean girls who yelled "stay in your assigned seat!"
MichellinMan 20
Minus five cool points for you sir.
ikickgingers 15
17. That is called kissing ass.
HeroicPeanut 3
Sorry to say but I can't physically shove my hands up my rectum.
margie2194 12
No 24, it's called strategizing.
MichellinMan 20
30-don't bite the hand that feeds you...
je_suis_fml 11
24, it's called passing.
leadman1989 16
I prefer the term brown nosing. It's slightly more disgusting, yet humorous.
sin862 0
haha u should be, i believe the professor word for word and that OP is a stupid donkey, YDI.
fthislyfe 22
Am I getting older, or are all these FMLs not funny anymore?
Shrike 24
shit fthislyfe, you forgot to blame your humorlessness on your country. that's like Bankrupt forgetting to make an fml all about her and her awful, evil parents in one of her comments. it's just not right
Lostdonut 3
52, some are ******* hilarious. Then some days are meh.
SCREAM4meeee 0
Perhaps your previous teachers SHOULD be shot :O
fmlwmty 0
He probably said that bc you stopped sleeping with him
every1luvsboners 11
fthislyfe, you're 19 years old for ***** sake. You just started wiping your own arse. As you might not find these FML's humorous, others might. So go find your broom and GTFO, wicked wench of the middle east.
fthislyfe 22
Well, all I wanted to say was that this site used to be funnier. You didn't have to show how stupid and immature you all are. Yes I'm 19, but my brain is much bigger than you. At least I don't categorize people with their race. And also Shrek (?) it's such a joy to see you angry again. I love doing this. Keep it up.
every1luvsboners 11
Your brain is bigger than me? Wow, how do you carry around your head? In a wheel-barrow. I'm not categorizing anyone, idiot. That was by no means a shot at the middle east, STFU and quit sending me messages.
auriane_fml 19
@ 92 Who are you to tell her that she can't categorize people on their race? You profile info says that you don't respect religious people. Hypocrite. This doesn't mean that i agree with her. I just think that you don't have the right to tell her not to be prejudiced when you are also prejudiced. A bigger brain doesn't necessarily mean that you are smarter.
fthislyfe 22
96: You say that like I've sent you millions of messages. While I've only sent one. I could have said that here but I didn't want to make you more embarrassed in "public" You're not even worthy of an argument.
every1luvsboners 11
You will never embarrass me....I can guarantee that one. You're nothing more than a flea on the nut-sac of life looking for a place to rest your weary head. Don't even start with me because it won't end up good.
fthislyfe 22
97: Ideas can be changed. We have a brain to think with. But our race is not in our control. By the way I'm really proud of being Persian.
fthislyfe 22
Oh boy I'm really scared now. What are you gonna do to me? Please have mercy I'm really sorry. Poop face
MarvelFF1243 0
77, I don't think that was the reason
RedSharpieInk 5
I guess then it would be a good idea not to tell him who your former teachers were
ohxdamnxkay02 12
#17...or or you could just sleep with the professor. should be an Easy A (:
fatgirllovesfml 0
Oh I bet you do that #125...hoe
RacerX1695 1
Would have been funnier if OP had been home schooled.
JuniorBSTN 3
Ahaha me 2 !
warpig182 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being stupid.
MichellinMan 20
Ummm... No
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yea #2, because it's his fault his professor snapped at him for being stupid./sarcasm. Do you have things better to do, like ********** to dogs humping?
flockz 20
thank you 59 you reminded me of what i was doing.
tacovender 7
Ha same here #2. Op must done something especially seeing that his professor snapped (showing that this has built up for a while).
BellaBelle_fml 23
I can't wait for the moment when every1luvsb0ners discovers what you've been doing here. Your pathetic facade shall soon be over. It shall be glorious!
RabbitPressure1 6
Is this really boners?
THE_A_TEEN 28
#115 me?!?!?!
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
143- Do people tease you about your obsession to view ********** ****? Because I don't think that's normal.
usmcsniper16 0
173 i c wat u did there
12haarek 5
sounds like you've got a job to do...
olpally 33
Bang the professor... Cuz that always works.. *sigh*
SummerFever 8
Lock him in his car with a bunch of angry bees?
divadro102 16
Listen, I appreciate what you're teaching, but you're just a professor, stop preaching. Your words keep landing on deaf ears, so shut up to add a couple more years. I'm not a poet or anything near like it, but right about now all i'm thinking is **** it. Let me go back home and grab an elephant gun, you need a listen in physics and that's bound to be fun. There's a little worry in your eyes, but that's ok, there's a lesson to be taught on another day. You can stop right there, don't reach for that phone. Remember last night when you took me home? That was a tight situation that you got yourself into, but this pussy's not for sale so rub one out or two. I'm smiling now that this moment's mine, but what about tomorrow when we both got to dine? Excuse me father, but I have a disorder. It doesn't matter though, you're the definition of former.
dani212 0
Just saying, my history teacher told us the first day of class we are all stupid and have been taught by our previous teachers is the American way; be stupid, and always listen to what your told. it takes a smart teacher to realize and teach the truth.
MichellinMan 20
Tell him his mom should have had an abortion.
tylersign 11
From my current point of view on this professor.. I'm starting to think that she tried, and it failed..
Snookie85 19
I'd say that to him! Hahaha
No_LoveMM 3
nyan
MichellinMan 20
Nyan cat. Yes that is my picture. Nyan cat is epic.
iam_yummylicious 12
Nyan cat should be shot.
MichellinMan 20
120- nyan cat is in space, therefore that is impossible.
iam_yummylicious 12
A modern gun doesn't require oxygen. It creates its own chemical reaction. Therefore Nyan can be shot in space. Also have you not seen Star Wars?
BellaBelle_fml 23
The point is that if you were to shoot a gun in space it would not hit the target due to the lack of gravity. Not a need for O2. Dear God! What are they teaching in schools these days?!
faithxoxox 1
But it would have forward momentum. So it would always keep moving until it hit something. Hopefully Nyan cat or Jar-Jar.
MichellinMan 20
Just to clear things up, soviets tried it in the space race. It would go in a straight line for a short time. Then it would start an orbit, and this would all be Happening very slowly due to the lack of oxygen. Therefore nyan cat will not die, and your argument is invalid. And star wars is not real. (don't get me wrong, I love star wars.) so stfu.
HeavenKD 3
#135 Actually,the bullet from a modern handgun could hit Nyan Cat in space. As there is no air in space,there is no friction to slow the bullet down so it would keep going in a straight line until it was stoppped, by poor little Nyan cat's face.
MichellinMan 20
Oh and, your right. A modern gun does create it's own chemical reaction. but it's space, dumbass. So it would be happening VERY slowly. But it's still too slow to kill, and you just be pushed backwards as well because there is nothing to stop you, unless you grab on to something. Your argument is still invalid. Why you gotta hate on the nyan cat?
MichellinMan 20
Ok, I'm stupid, you guys are right. But nyan should still live... 1)if there was nothing supporting you, most of the kinetic energy would go towards forcing you back 2) do have any idea where nyan cat is? 3) you'd have to be super accurate. Your in space, so you probably wouldn't be focusing on killing nyan. And your floating, nyan is moving. 99.9 percent chance you won't get in space. 4) nyan cat is the most epic YouTube video ever. So why kill him? 5) if you were within 10,000 feet of earth's atmosphere, if would curve and start an orbit eventually hitting earth. So your argument is still most likely invalid. Boom.
iam_yummylicious 12
If Nyan Cat exists, so do the laws of Star Wars... and any other rules of physics I can think of. Therefore Nyan Cat is dead.
MichellinMan 20
151- NYAN CAT IS VERY REAL AND NO ONE IS CRUEL ENOUGH TO KILL A POP TART CAT! YOU SHALL SHUT THE **** UP AND SLIT YOUR ******* WRIST AND BURN IN HELL AND DIE AND DIE AND DIE!!!!! I WILL DEFEND NYAN CAT UNTILL DEATH!!!!
xcowboys 0
Might i say, WHAT A MINDFUCK!?
spring2008 0
Lol
Insane_Tea 15
How in the world did this comment go from abortion, to Nyan Cat, to killing Nyan Cat, to explaining the spatial laws of physics and anomalies in order to explain that killing a space dwelling poptart-shaped cat is relatively impossible?
K_kanaka 26
Ok Nutty Professor
jerry2011 4
Ouchhhhh.....
tylersign 11
Leave his class, so he is now a former teacher. That'll backfire on him.
MichellinMan 20
Key word backfire.
cudi504 4
Maybe he wasnt having a good day
s0m3guy2010 21
I could imagine OP saying right after the professors outburst, "but I've already had you as a professor for the past 3 years."
Mpsteve13 7
tell him you made an A in anatomy. then close your eyes and do what you have to do for education.
CryMoreFMLs 15
No. Just ... no.
alone_unafraid 0
LMFAO! Sounds like O.P. went to public school.
hsnorthjonathan 6
Bro, you stole my picture. Totally not cool.
ellakacyme22 6
And what is wrong with public school?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Bro, you have less then 30 comments. I've had this picture for my last 150. Be original ffs.
hsnorthjonathan 6
I don't comment alot..... I've had this picture since I made this account.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Yeah, you made it.. What, 4 hours ago? No, don't even try. You're a fraud and that is that. I'm not responding further.
rawrkittyrawr 6
Lol I thought it was just one person talking to themselves
hsnorthjonathan 6
I made my account a year ago but I don't usually comment and I got the picture from google.
friedpwnadge 25
Will you idiots quit fighting please? Unless one of you is an artist an actually created the content of the picture in question, then neither of the current pictures belong to you and you're both using someone's art without their consent.
cash_monkey72 9
That should be said to some of my teachers...
corbendo 3
Sounds like a nice guy..
greg84_fml 21
Sounds like I would like this professor.
aPieceOfFruit 16
Yeah but he wouldn't like you :D