Work: Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 340

You deserved it 21 990

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Same thing different taste

By Unnoticed - 27/07/2017 06:30 - Australia - Thornlie

Today, my colleague introduced herself and said, "I know how nerve-racking first days are!" Which is nice of her, except I've been at this company longer than she has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 138

You deserved it 320

By taperjeangirl - 21/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 758

You deserved it 10 537

By kitkat3308 - 30/03/2015 05:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 2 197

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 615

By Mito - 10/09/2017 23:15

Today, we had an impromptu meeting to get to know the new additions to the team. They asked me to introduce myself. I started a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 606

You deserved it 315

It's called a calendar

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 17:31 - India - Mumbai

Today, it was my first day at my first job, I got up early, got ready, waited an hour for HR to call. I called them instead and they didn't answer, so I wrote an email to the partners. It turns out I got the first day date wrong. Some first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 431

By CurtisWogan - 12/03/2014 22:23 - United States - Albany

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 926

You deserved it 13 470

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 309

You deserved it 2 985

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 104

You deserved it 959

By Partners - 22/06/2015 19:55 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 3 392

Blanadestroyer 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:19

The word of the day is "legs". Let's go spread it!

effyourlizzife 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:07

HAHAHAHA that's beautiful

Comments

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:05

LOL nice

michael32123 0

Monday 26 April 2010 7:27

in soviet Russia, leg spreads you

JuliaM1000 10

Wednesday 4 August 2010 6:10

WIN!!! :D ..I think..

effyourlizzife 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:07

HAHAHAHA that's beautiful

stiles_fml 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:08

how old are they?

LilKonvicted 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:12

hah! xD

Blanadestroyer 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:19

The word of the day is "legs". Let's go spread it!

KenMcGormick 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:19

are u a lady... if u are... ur business partners will think u are open-minded ^^... if not... u will be fired the next day

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:20

Nice. I wouldn't mind being in the team thats "under you". ;-)

crownme 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:23

Lol your partners will only think your a ****. . .no biggie

soscrewed12 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:30

FML #243465 You'd better hope one of them was this guy.

lolffsfml 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:30

lol that is so unfortunate, but also absolutly hilarious.

Keywords

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Same thing different taste

It's called a calendar

Bored senseless

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