Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML
Thanks, babe
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
There's an app for everything
Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML
How Soon is Now?
Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML
Great timing, dude
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Big red flag
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Panic!
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Top comments
instnt1nfction 17
he is a genius
yourlifesfucked 0
Anyone else wondering why she was lying about her period?
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Comments (124)
instnt1nfction 17
he is a genius
CaramelRainbows 2
his name must be: albert menstrualstein
bennetts211 2
It's honestly not that difficult to memorize one's menstrual cycle...
gunmania0 12
Number 9 I'm trying hard to resist a classic your mum joke...
DKParth13 5
the boy has his reasons!
notsocrazee 0
once you see those baggie grey sweats and the holey beige giant sized underwear, you just know.
awesomeooo3 0
Either that or he's just not an idiot and remembered that OP was on her period maybe about 2 weeks or something ago. And they don't talk about their birthdays often enough?
eminemchick 19
i guess he wishes he just had sexx! like the other fml poster:P
danishbagel 3
5... That was horrible pun.
kristylew03 1
Doesn't take a genius... Period is once a month. Birthday is once a year. Unless you're one of those annoying people who talks about your birthday every day the month leading up to it, in which case ydi for being obsessed.
ihaterats 0
But It's ******* Nasty As Hell
sweetthing333 0
Why is it nasty for a guy to know his girlfriend's menstrual cycle? My boyfriend and I discuss it all the time without a problem. Maybe he's just one of those guys that actually cares and can be an adult and realize it is just a natural process for the woman.
JesusFishTaco 5
I would thumb it up. But then again, it's already on 69...
rebel128 5
well OP I hope you have a bloody good birthday
btown1616 0
dam i could care less if someone remembered mu birthday... but u gotta hand it to a bro for remembering that
shali14 0
have Yu not read the other comments?
TobyFunke 3
my guess is because she didnt want to **** him for one reason or another, and yes, She deserves it for lying about her period
KittyChesire 12
As a reason to not have sex because he forgot op's birthday
myxcure 2
That is... strange.
BaconDave 12
Some guys are interested in sone things
WoAhAnNa123 0
im wondering y they have so many conversations about her period..
SteelCladAngel 0
ops bf 'hey baby you wanna ****' op- no I'm having my period a few days go by with nearly the same convo then they have sex a month later ops bf- 'hey, wanna do it?' op - no, I'm having my period (( history repeats itself )) or they're living together and go grocery shopping together, ops bf notices she buys tampons/pads/midol or they're living together, op asks bf to pick up pads/tampons/midol when he goes to store
flockz 20
27- Achievement Unlocked "Longest Post Ever" i actually had to scroll to read the entire thing. -_-
Hi_Itz_Me 0
81, if you think that is the longest post, then you obviously have not had FML that long..
SteelCladAngel 0
thumbs down for having a bit of common sense? no wonder the world is ******...
5t3ff1k4h 47
She didn't necessarily turn down sex, you know. She may have said she wasn't on it when she was in order to GET birthday sex. There are two sides to every coin.
alexg823 0
27 - STFU
a_nutritionist 10
@115 no, thumbs down for the triple spacing and saying something that can be summed up with "she probably kept repeating the same response to refuse sex and he picked up on it" with a comment that you need to scroll down to read.
Jamialia 5
What a sneaky...
Scrts 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You damn deserved it. Cheating woman!
DKParth13 5
you are really dumb fo real!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
YEAH!!!! What 32 said!
shelbygordon44 7
Dumb shit... never said anything and cheating. Learn to comprehend what you read before you bitch at people...
NuTrees 9
what 43 said!
danishbagel 3
Yeah! What everyone else said!
Justforlolz 14
Dear lord, how ******* stupid are you?
twinkletoes747 16
loving the bed intruder reference. aha
mcxhunni 0
man what a dumbfuck
ambear26 14
What? Come on! I don't think that's cheating! I tell my boyfriend that I'm on period when I'm not I tell him like a day before because I get really emotional and angry (hormones) and I don't feel like dealing with him so I tell him so he won't mess with me and make me upset. It works unless you have a bf like op's who memorized her cycle. That's so creepy.
Hempseed 27
What's creepy about that? My boyfriend often keeps track of my cycle because he's aware that I can't for shit. His memory is a shitload better than mine so I appreciate him reminding me of things I'd otherwise forget. I've lost full months worth of memories before. You don't know their circumstances or their relationship dynamic.
yourlifesfucked 0
Anyone else wondering why she was lying about her period?
Poopolicious 5
she don't wanna get ****** on her bday :0
Ohnomnom 1
Because she doesn't want to have sex. Probably mad at him for forgetting her birthday!
2cacrawf 0
if that was the case why not just tell him .. hey I'm not having sex with you cuz you forgot my birthday ass hole... Dnt be a liar
sourgirl101 29
I agree. Why lie? You're just setting yourself up to make him think honesty isn't important in your relationship.
Carian01 0
6- She didn't want sex. Obviously. Still, that's... really quite creepy.
cc61212 0
maybe because she didn't want to have sex with him? the important thing from this fml is that her boyfriend obviously cared more about having sex than anything else. FYL, op.
taazer 12
so she could get of the sex or have a good reason to get angry at him?
TobyFunke 3
who cares, a period happens the same time roughly every month, so if you remember that its often the first week of the month when you are with your girl and she cant bang, you'd remember that pretty easily. Doesn't make him a jerk, she's the bigger jerk for lying about her period to avoid sex with her boyfriend, there's a good reason for him to cheat right there... and then he's the biggest jerk for forgetting her birthday, however if she hides it or lies about that on facebook just to test him, then she clearly deserves it.
iateapenguin 27
She shouldn't have to lie about her period to get off sex. I hope that's not the case. Just say no
tennischik211 11
he memorized your insides but not the superficial?
Leftieswillrule 3
my only regret is that I cannot thumb you more. No lies, no problems, it's that simple. Anyway, birthdays are stupid what are you really celebrating? the sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, shorter of breath and one year closer to death
rallets 23
#7, lock your doors, #25 wants to "thumb" you o_O
Blueglasscup 18
Damn you're depressing for a fifteen year old.
A7X_LoVeee 10
He had a deprived childhood. It happens.
Blueglasscup 18
Oh wait my bad he's sixteen not fifteen. I just assumed he was fifteen because we share the same birth year and I'm fifteen.
sipher16 0
birthdays are to celebrate another year of life that you made it another year. enjoy the little things in life they don't last forever.
premiermois 5
25 what song is that from? please somebody tell me o_o
NikkiFlysKites 8
It's a shame that nobody else acknowledges #28's comment. The best part of this FML.
NikkiFlysKites 8
Excluding the thumbs up*
rallets 23
not sure what that means :/
A7X_LoVeee 10
124 neither are we.
J1hill33 12
that's ummm weird
AnagenisisZagus 13
I do the same thing. It helps me avoid her during her lady problem era. The thought pops back in after it all ends; no worries.
Kukua 5
How nice for her to have a boyfriend who has no use for her when he can't use her as his personal sex toy.
CitrusGirl 0
Beyond the "sex toy" deal, I think it's just sad that he can't man up enough to be with her when she's not feeling her best. You must not care about her that much if you can't take her good and bad.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Virgin dude here, not scared to admit it. I actually avoid her because she never wants to talk, she yells, and screams, hits. No reason, no warning. Don't make this into something you choose it to be. Girl power. Whoopee. Both genders suck. End of story.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Virgin dude here, not scared to admit it. I actually avoid her because she never wants to talk, she yells, and screams, hits. No reason, no warning. Don't make this into something you choose it to be. Girl power. Whoopee. Both genders suck. End of story.
MsSoulReaper 27
Then that's shit you need to discuss with her not us.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Oh, I have tried. A year and some change and I have learned that subject is a "no no" deal.
a_nutritionist 10
@137 when people are calling you out for being an asshole its quite acceptable to elaborate to clarify your position.
mruizk9 7
next time don't lie
gracebelford 0
haha nope.. my bf doesn't no (: