Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
instnt1nfction 17
he is a genius
yourlifesfucked 0
Anyone else wondering why she was lying about her period?
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Comments (124)
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for lying to trick him into knocing you up.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Um... no... she probably lied to get out of having sex or something more logical. She either said she was on her period to hopefully prevent her boyfriend from wanting sex, or considering it was her birthday and all she may have wanted birthday sex, and since she was on her period she told her boyfriend she wasn't.
MissBelle00 1
What a douchebag!
ilikeemsmall 4
I memorized my Ex's for self defense! The week before she was a complete bitch and I'd get out of dodge until she came back to normal!
AtomicBryce 0
that's sucks but happy birthday
awardZu 0
I hit YDI after reading "my boyfriend caught me in a lie". You would be pissed as hell if he lied to you, so what gives you the right to lie to him?
klong91 7
Sounds like he keeps track so he knows when he can have sex with you either that or you just really whine a lot when your on your period.
5t3ff1k4h 47
8 - I would think something as small as a name would be the most important thing to remember.
tylerpienta 6
u shouldn't lie about that it's ****** up
Offensive_fml 4
Hurr-*******-durr. It's your birthday, big ******* deal. Sorry for the excessive use of swear words, but it's... 1) A day, once a year. 2) Nothing special, again, happens every year. 3) Nothing to be happy about. You just made a trip around the sun, horray? I've got no idea why people are so "OMG IT'S MY BIRTHDAY YAY" when you're doing nothing but live a certain amount of days. Like "New year's resolution", do I have to set some goals because it is a certain date? People don't get excited about the date "10/10/10 (Tenth of October, 2010)", but they get excited about 1/1/X. What is the point? Same ******* day. My rant can go on forever, and it will (most likely) be given a ton of negative votes, or hell, even moderated. People these days make no sense.
grimowl 1
I'm posting here just to see how many people takes the trollbait even though I posted it's a trollbait. Can't wait!
purpadurp 6
Well, aren't you the just cutest little nonconformist!
Offensive_fml 4
If it was a troll bait, I'd hit and run and not reply.
premiermois 5
If your birthdays have become too mainstream for you to celebrate, feel free to stop having them altogether and leave the rest of us to bask in our own right to selfish enjoyment one day per year. kthxbai
Offensive_fml 4
I never said do not celebrate, but don't make it a huge deal. Get a cake, invite a couple of friends? sure. But get a whole restaurant, beer, the entire school/college/etc. over? pointless and lame.
monagro 22
Totally deserved it, you're lying to your bf about something guys don't really understand and taking advantage (and probably did it before, otherwise he wouldn't have thought it useful to remember your menstrual cycle). Him forgetting your birthday is forgetting something that happens very rarely (maybe hint at it a few days in advance next time?), not that weird.