Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
ShortieRose 30
I've heard of inflicting new pain to make the old pain diminish... but that's a little much! ;)
limegreenpoopie 31
Kiss her head too :)
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Comments (36)
ShortieRose 30
I've heard of inflicting new pain to make the old pain diminish... but that's a little much! ;)
ukeandfoodislife 19
When I was younger, I broke my arm and I went crying to my dad. There weren't any visible signs of the break so he flicked my other arm. Needless to say, we ended up going to the hospital about 5 minutes later. He stopped doing that after that incident, lol!
gracehi 33
"I know a little trick to take your mind off that pain... Now you might feel a little pressure..."
Experteric 12
Major Payne! yeah man
shewenttojareds 16
She can now focus on her headache rather then her boo boo. Good parenting. Smh.
RenoTheRhino 30
I believe I saw the string of words, "accidentally headbutted her" somewhere in that post.
limegreenpoopie 31
Kiss her head too :)
Rkikkas9713 25
What if she headbutts her again?
shortswimmer17 28
Just another boo boo for you to kiss better :)
MsSoulReaper 27
Your intentions were good, OP! Just apologize to your child and kiss both the boo-boo on her finger and head :)
devildog562 33
Taking that whole, if you don't stop crying, then I'll give you a reason to cry" a little to seriously . Jk I always felt super bad when my daughter got hurt . It'll all work out
Paigey90 3
An old fashioned way of giving general anaesthetic. That will definitely make the pain go away
roydashious 11
Well that is unfortunate
worldclassrager 41
Two kisses are better than one
MrConcise 35
If you put her in a coma for long enough, she'll be completely healed when she wakes up. Aside from muscle atrophy, potential brain damage and memory loss, development issues, etc.