Work: Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company...

By wtf_fml_0609 - 01/11/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 574

You deserved it 26 106

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 629

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 564

You deserved it 11 247

My guts hate my guts

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 122

By bob the builder - 08/11/2012 14:36 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 397

You deserved it 1 736

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 207

You deserved it 3 494

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 148

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 3 889

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 229

dantheman123 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

well stop writing fmls and hurry up!

MizzHearts 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:00

he deserves this, why? because he ate chicken wings? people who rate this.. have problems

Comments

Unbeatable 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:48

haha

SmallTownCutie 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:15

buy a pack of adult diapers on your way there. problem solved.

Thin_Ice_fml 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:35

I love hot wings. I can see why you couldn't resist it.

humzizzl3 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 16:58

welll you prob wasted 5 mins writing this fml, hurry the hell up diarhea boy

RacistPancake 6

Monday 19 September 2011 14:27

Having a sensitive stomach sucks.

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Monday 1 November 2010 22:50

ahahahahahah

dantheman123 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:52

well stop writing fmls and hurry up!

Sportsfan86 3

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:56

exactly what I was thinking.

BakNBitz 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:57

do a Power Shit

BigZadii 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 15:06

spirit bomb <_<

justsayfuck 5

Monday 1 November 2010 22:53

Take a Rennie?

FYLDeep 25

Monday 1 November 2010 22:55

Diaper time.

eternalsunlight 5

Tuesday 2 November 2010 14:28

Or time to buy some medicine which stops things from moving

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:46

That's gonna stop it in ten minutes, it sure will!

Justforlolz 14

Monday 1 November 2010 22:59

It hurts just thinking about it!!! Aghhhhhh!!! No seriously, I don't know what to say...

MizzHearts 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:00

he deserves this, why? because he ate chicken wings? people who rate this.. have problems

talb1 7

Tuesday 2 November 2010 4:00

it's a she...

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:44

#7, one deserves anything that's foreseeable and you don't prevent it from happening.

machiko_fml 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:06

Just call in sick next time. :3

JBChristian 47

Thursday 1 September 2016 17:48

Life doesn't work exactly that way in the executive world. You can do it but it won't leave a positive impression on partners and clients.

mattman1994 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:08

Hot wings are the best. Until they come out the other end and you have to wipe your ass with a fire extinguisher.

sirbrainiac 2

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:49

awesome comment

Action_Bastard 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 5:29

lmao win^[1000]

Fortuitous 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:11

Concerning the meeting, you could just wing it.

skyttlz 32

Tuesday 2 November 2010 2:04

Lol I get it.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 428

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, someone left a comment on our company Facebook page, and my manager told me what to respond, but the VP didn’t like it. Guess who’s now suspended for a couple weeks with no pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 102

Today, my grandma miraculously survived a bout with pneumonia. She keeps saying, 'The Lord spoke to her' while she was comatose. While comatose, she had to be physically restrained because she would unconsciously mess with the medical equipment, and when she woke up, she was completely delirious. Yeah, no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 138

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 766

You deserved it 10 556

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 1 561

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 521

You deserved it 3 866

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 1 168

Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

Lava

My guts hate my guts

Squeezed one out

Top comments

Comments