Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
ShortieRose 30
I've heard of inflicting new pain to make the old pain diminish... but that's a little much! ;)
limegreenpoopie 31
Kiss her head too :)
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Comments (36)
meunluckycharms 16
F her life! Or more kid appropriate; darn her life. Poor kid:')
Mitchellbassists 29
Not to be rude, but this is one of funniest things I have read in a while.
ariasmake1 9
That's how champions are raised!!
Xion0014 20
Hopefully she was alright! Your intentions were good.
Hop6e 22
Is it an Oklahoma thing? Because my aunt did that to my cousin too, my cousin ended up in the toilet by accident. Not a pretty sight.
GoogieWithers 25
The pain in her finger probably doesn't seem that bad now!
chaseafterwind82 29
Oklahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!
tiredofwaiting 25
Well now you owe 2 kisses.
liliyalee89 4
it's more of a f your daughter's life.
aioguw 8
This is actually so funny to me because my mom did this to me when I was little once and I did this to my cousin a few weeks ago. Both by accident of corse. As long as everyone's alright, it's something that can be laughed about.