Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
ShortieRose 30
I've heard of inflicting new pain to make the old pain diminish... but that's a little much! ;)
limegreenpoopie 31
Kiss her head too :)
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Comments (36)
gobiteme2 34
Putting a child into a coma for a boo-boo seems a little extreme to me.
be82tw 17
OP: putting the "Tough" into "Tough Love" since 2015.
tarlax 11
be82tw: putting the "ugh" into comments since that pun.
fakedsincerity 32
I've done this too to a kid I was babysitting. Clumsy people, unite. lol.
ayyy_bro 26
You have to learn to laugh at these things, no biggie. ?
alexanderavatar 24
child care 101
WOTAN1488 24
"RAWR! THIS WILL MAKE IT BETTER, CHILD!!" *proceeds to ram child*
ladyg228 15
Wow parent fail +1000 points lol
ezrajab 22
Ohh boy
darkenedone 27
Now you have 2 boo-boos to kiss.
Haze115 14
hardcore, man...