Health: Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally...

By Stan - 29/08/2011 21:19 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 9 606

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

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By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

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You deserved it 5 757

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 073

You deserved it 5 417

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 691

You deserved it 6 400

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 548

You deserved it 48 209

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 335

You deserved it 5 169

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By cheerymama - 23/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 951

You deserved it 26 149

Power move

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 17:00

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 170

Haganbottom234 8

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

You deserve it, for doing jazz aerobics.

blumsden 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

I'd say I beat my kid, before I admitted to doing jazz aerobics...

Comments

fyl_bc_idc 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

1!!!!!

Siji 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

2!!!

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

Noos.

Haganbottom234 8

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

You deserve it, for doing jazz aerobics.

Gfrigo 1

Monday 29 August 2011 23:58

OP needs to come out of the closet.

juicedboi 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:10

Be more worried about people finding out that you do jazz aerobics. Also, quit beating your child..

gojira666 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:18

You could tell your wife u hit your child with the closet door on the way out.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:21

Nvm

ThatOneCanadian 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:36

i dont exactly envision a father that does "Jazz aerobics" as a child beater

thir13enthour 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:39

My thoughts exactly

NKG7896 3

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:47

Poor child. Has to live with a father that makes her do jazz aerobics.

monkeys1315 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:49

I've never heard of a guy doing jazz aerobics with his three year old

chick011 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

Ow. I hope you gave her candy after that.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:26

In the back of a van too?

nikkilorenz7 5

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

you do jazz aerobics??

aaronmk 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:04

That's what he just said .

notsoluckypup 12

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

OP, you should've made sure that all children (and pets) were out of the room first and could not enter...

doctor_awesome 8

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:40

* to avoid being seen. not for their protection.

blumsden 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

I'd say I beat my kid, before I admitted to doing jazz aerobics...

elmski87 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:00

Good call.

Blazingcrono 6

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

You should kick them while doing your jazz aerobics to prove that it was an accident.

beckal 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:56

that child will be forever bullied, not because she was kicked in the head as a baby, but because her father does jazz aerobics.

audiophileMom 11

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:06

How's three years a baby??

jessesgirl14 16

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:58

My 13 year old is still my baby!! Haven't you ever heard that story?! I love you forever and like you for always as long as I'm living MY BABY YOU'LL BE!!