Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
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Top comments
TheGreatAlexande 12
They grow up so fast. :']
jtthegr8 26
Not too long now before you catch him yanking his doodle. Hopefully he doesn't sing about that one.
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Comments (84)
TheGreatAlexande 12
They grow up so fast. :']
JMichael 26
If you know what I mean ;)
firefighter925 18
Why would you ask your kid that?
jerryj 27
9, is that a pedosmile hiding under your avatar's ski/ninja mask?
abhi95 31
That is Kakashi hatake you disrespectful human being! He is awesome!
BrickTamlandLamp 13
Why all of the responses to this comment so stupid
toaster123 11
yeah seriously...
skittyskatbrat 19
I was about to suggest the same thing :D Such moments need to be preserved...for when he's a teen....
Amoondris 17
It sounds like he just discovered a new word for them rather than just now discovering them.
Kamon97 23
My ding-a-ling my ding-a-ling I want to play with my ding-a-ling!
jaylacheatham 7
now that's stuck in my head
jtthegr8 26
Not too long now before you catch him yanking his doodle. Hopefully he doesn't sing about that one.
RenoTheRhino 30
Good luck with your son, OP. haha.
Chanti_fml 26
Great song! It's gonna be a real hit sometime!
patrickalamo 48
YouTube gold...
Tthug 34
Reminds me of miss march: "I'm gonna love/****/etc a white chick"
Godsofdracos 15
Better than Bieber. Why is his name in my autocorrect :c
kwyk 23
Don't worry, the excitement will wear off eventually... give him another 50 years or so
CasseyWasntHere 10
thats priceless
_kyleG_ 34
All part of the learning process- just be glad he didn't make his discovery in public! (...If the stories are true, I may have discovered 'sh*t' while grocery shopping at 2)
Mauskau 36
When I was 2, I would pick up cucumbers in the shop and spin round singing, "willy, willy". My brother was nice enough to give me that habit, my parents hated it.
infinitegrace 21
That's adorable.
Tthug 34
Reminds me of the shaycarl video where their kid says he's got a boner "bow-n-arrow".
steve31789 8
He's got big balls, she's got big balls but we've got the biggest balls of them all!
Scynistr 20
I give you credit for the song reference..
Sangue0608 26
Don't disrespect acdc like that