Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
WantsHazzasGravy 11
YDI for telling him to do it.
Hollandiscrazy 12
There are two sorts of people in the world: people who say they pee in the shower and dirty ******* liars. Now pants on, pants off doesn't really matter...
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Comments (106)
WantsHazzasGravy 11
YDI for telling him to do it.
then000bster 16
Hopefully her son isn't a teenager! Maybe OP will tell us just how old he is.
StiffPvtParts 43
What makes you think OP is a she? O_o
truth_teller23 11
I've lived by the beach for 9 years of my life and I can tell you that most people pee in the ocean. No one is going to trek up the beach and use their disgusting bathrooms. There is already a ton of marine animal waste anyway.
bigtaytay 13
Actually technically OP didn't tell him to do that. She said go pee in the ocean. He peed INTO the ocean. Location location location
unpossible 26
Demetri Martin, FTW.
WantsHazzasGravy 11
He may not have known what OP meant. Common sense, you should use it.
Steffi 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How would you like it if you were in the sea, and someone-else's urine was around your body? YDI for telling him to do it there.
freckleface221 19
Well, the ocean is already full of fish poo...
Steffi 26
And why add to the amount of poo and pis* number 3?
jipster 11
H
jipster 11
E
jipster 11
Y
flockz 20
i read on the internet somewhere that .05% of all ocean water is whale semen. but then again 69.69% of all internet statistics are made up.
jipster 11
Wtf why did my account commented some random letters?
fareith 15
You realize that sewage lines are pumped into the water every day, especially from America, right? One child won't make much of a difference.
CaptTeemo 10
Fish pee and poo in the ocean, too. It's nature.
mfmylifesrsly 30
I pee in the ocean and I am not ashamed.
MidnightMusic53 37
There are much worse things floating around in the ocean than a little boy's pee. Just think of all of the sperm, feces, and urine, etc., in there from the creatures that inhabit it. They basically swim around in their own mess anyway, what difference does this little boy's pee make? I don't see how OP deserved it, many people have peed in rivers, oceans, and lakes at least once in their lives. Sure, it's gross, but there's much more disgusting things floating around in there anyway. Just watch some documentaries detailing the lives of sea creatures. Rather than insult OP, let's just enjoy the humor in this FML.
IworkAt711 14
Just dont pee in the Amazon river. Theres these little fish that swim up your pisshole.
newyorkcityguy 9
You mean like the millions of other people who do it? And of course let's not forget the billions of sea creatures that do it as well. OP deserved this but your logic is laughable.
Helpfulman 17
Dude, if you don't like urine in the water, don't go to any place where anybody has ever swam.
BigD3452 6
Obviously you are an idiot and have never been cold as **** inside a wetsuit before instant heating blanket LMFAO
Hollandiscrazy 12
There are two sorts of people in the world: people who say they pee in the shower and dirty ******* liars. Now pants on, pants off doesn't really matter...
Hollandiscrazy 12
And the ocean is one big shower isn't it
vencku 13
#4 - Actually... No. I suppose it's less of a problem when you're a guy but I really don't feel like having piss run down my legs, even in the shower. And I'm not going to start crouching either. That would just be weird. I'm pretty sure I can hold it in for those ten minutes I need to wash.
Hollandiscrazy 12
It's a quote from Louis CK ;)
stanjohnson 11
Fish piss in the ocean all the time. Among other things
Lillie_bird 16
If you don't pee in the shower you're wasting water!
mackdeezy 22
YDI. Idk what kind of reaction you were expecting from him if you told him to do it.
Mossears133 15
For the kid to go into the water and pee discreetly!
Tempest151 11
That just shows confidence!
sigurd 11
He did what you told him to!
PhotoSmith 25
Alleys be specific with a younger child. Also, maybe he didn't want to swoon in his own urine.
RodzillaX 30
lol wut...
CharresBarkrey 16
It seems as though 10 was another victim of the cruel auto correct.
PhotoSmith 25
Yes I was. I attempted to correct it, but work got in the way.
dontpanic_fml 32
Nobody needs to be a victim of autocorrect if they proofread
PhotoSmith 25
Alleys was always, and swoon was swim.
xALEXx_fml 15
Why would you tell him that? That's not good parenting
nay_ahmad 4
Not good parenting?? OMG get over it! Ppl r so quick to judge others, the water is dirty anyway, who cares!
SlapAndTickle 20
She probably doesn't even have a kid either. I love it when people tell you your a bad parent over shit so trival. It's just a little pee guys and girls, get over it.
botanistjessica 24
Until this thread I didn't know people seemed to think peeing in the ocean is gross. There are hundreds of billions of gallons of water in the sea. The pee will be diluted ASAP.
Wizardo 34
Sounds like he's got balls the size of whales though...
thatonegirlnic 10
He's just doing what you told him to. And now everyone knows what you told him to do, too. Almost Poetic justice if I do say so myself.