Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
WantsHazzasGravy 11
YDI for telling him to do it.
Hollandiscrazy 12
There are two sorts of people in the world: people who say they pee in the shower and dirty ******* liars. Now pants on, pants off doesn't really matter...
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Comments (106)
thew_fml 14
pee and ocean water are almost exactly the same chemical composition. so everyone just relax
rahrah27 10
Apparently sharks are even more attracted to urine than to blood. Nice going, OP :P
neeni88 23
Apparently, you just made that up! Nice try, 40. ;-)
rahrah27 10
I have read that before, so whether or not it was true, I wasn't the one that made it up :P
bridgetv25 8
That's nasty, your nasty what are you teaching your child you know they won't know the difference from ocean or pool either , and peeing in water other people are swimming in either pool or ocean is disgusting...
Mossears133 15
Peeing in the ocean is disgusting? Oh, you should tell that to everything that lives in it and pees and ***** in it everyday! Not to mention practically every human that has ever been to the ocean. -.-
stanjohnson 11
I'm pretyy sure OP will have no trouble teaching her son the difference between the ocean and a pool. Thye look almost nothing alike.
Migole 36
Wtf? Why is everyone so stuck up here?? It is the ocean! Do you even know what shit flows around the water? Dead plants, dead animals,dead humans, chemical waste, animal waste, human waste (from ships for example) and so on. There's just so many water which gets almost completely replaced every few hours because you know wind and waves and stuff and you all really think that one tiny pee of a child matters? It will thin out so much the moment he starts peeing, it probably won't even reach a person standing a few feet away. It's not like it's a closed system like a pool.... Most people I know pee in the ocean and I've always thought it was pretty normal but hey, looks like the US think differently.
jizzwold 21
Don't blame Americans. Blame the squeamish and stupid people.
SlapAndTickle 20
And it warms you up for a minute. :O
nay_ahmad 4
He's a kid, whatever, whoever doesn't like it, sucks for u.
Samuraiguy 8
Omg that's awesome lol
yzzami 17
And that is why I do not go to public pools. Kids pee in the ocean, probably will do the same in pools
AussieChick101 13
I pee in the ocean it all washes out and sometimes there are not toilets at the beach. but i refuse to pee In a pool! It just sits there and then your swimming in your own piss
russianspy1234 11
Your son needs some English lessons. There is a big difference between peeing IN the ocean and peeing INTO the ocean.
Kimmy___888 8
How do you know it's not a young child?
LyraAlluse 25
There is a thing, and this thing is called a public restroom. Many are not aware that it exists but it is there. It is a magical place where you can pee and take a dump in a hole designed to collect human waste.
neeni88 23
And where do you suppose that human waste goes? Hmm?
LyraAlluse 25
I was mostly just joking for the record. But you my friend do make a very good point!
Shade1982 21
Your son has been watching too much Michael McIntyre.