Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
Today, I tried to take a cool selfie with my coffee mug for Instagram. As I posed, I didn’t realize the mug was tilted, and I poured hot coffee all over myself. FML
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Top comments
derpster 7
hot crotch buns. GET IT? anyone? no? ok..
WCARlover 35
And from that day on, you were sterile
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Comments (74)
derpster 7
first. sorry, got excited, that's on my bucket list. :3
elliottemoose 1
That wouldn't feel to great now would it :-/
enonymous 9
Anyone else's panties get wet and their nipples hard like mine just did after reading this fml?
WCARlover 35
I think it would feel wonderful actually...:p
GoW_Chick 15
"I'm hot blooded, about 103, my crotch feels like it's on fire, can't someone help me please?!" That's what popped into my head when I read this.
ShyAnn29 15
8, you're definitely not the only one! I got pretty hot myself!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Where'd comment #1 go?
Poopolicious 5
But on the bright side your **** taste delicious and is heated already! Ready to e served:)
derpster 7
hot crotch buns. GET IT? anyone? no? ok..
GovernorGeneral 8
OH OH ME ME MEEE. I GET IT SIR!!
GovernorGeneral 8
Yes id like a cookie for those of you who are thinking to give me one. C:
ban_anaa 0
Damn. I meant to give you a thumbs down #21. My mistake.
KeyboardWarrior 10
24 Cool story bro, want a cookie? Too bad, I already gave it to the governor.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I don't get it. Then again, I don't get hot beverages poured over my crotch either ;)
camochick27 4
Hot "cross" buns is what he was getting at... Lmao.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
This planet is full of idiots...
ryanross 11
Thanks #43, I don't think anyone would have understood the joke if it weren't for you.
99problems99 0
The tourettes guy does actually when some guy opens a door
Dojan 16
46 - I wouldn't have understood it. I have never heard of "hot cross buns" before.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
57- it wasn't hot. And, you can't do SHIT without your BALLS!!
GovernorGeneral 8
39- thanks ;) 44- so are all the others...
WCARlover 35
And from that day on, you were sterile
justmyswag 9
And then his son learned what a good old fashioned ass whoopin felt like.
flockz 20
i just think you made a lousy attempt at a catch, butterfingers. now excuse me, i'm going to go hunt me some wabbits. i saw it in this cartoon once.
ilove80smetal 8
Dear lord do you not watch bugs bunny!
BeatifulPenguin 4
I love your pic!!!
olibuur 9
fireeeee crotch
MSheary1993 1
I would post why this doesn't make sense but then I saw you were asian and realized you can't open your eyes wide enough to read properly.
EpicSquishii 21
On the bright side, Jr. just might have negated the chance if a repeat performance by a future child. Sterility FTW!
MandyMeow_fml 18
Well he had to learn someday that things don't always work the same as they do in cartoons.. Unfortunately for you he was drinking a scolding hot beverage at the time.
HeXr 22
*scalding
BeatifulPenguin 4
Grammar. Duh. Jk! Even though people say it like it's with an 'o', it's not... Thanks # 50! For helping rid the world of the not-really-a-word-word 'scolding'.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Hey, it could be worse..... Wait no, no it really can't.
zingline89 18
Sue McDonalds
DontClickOnMe 28
What? Lol. What does McDonald's have to do with this...
5HT2A 5
"I failed highschool and my gf of 5 years dumped me :(" "**** it, just sue McDonalds"
yahoowizard 16
It's from a lawsuit where a woman sued McDonalds for burning herself after spilling coffee on her lap because she didn't know the coffee was hot.
zingline89 18
No, you guys misunderstood, Sue McDonalds was my first grade teacher, and this FML reminded me of her :P