Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don't even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lunamoon_fml 0
ever think of calling the parents to ask?
iAmScrubs 19
It's time to bring in my little friend who I like to call Mr. ShamWow.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
lunamoon_fml 0
ever think of calling the parents to ask?
Tessa39 0
yeah that would have been the responsible thing to do... OP must be like what? 10?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
maybe op tried to call but they didn't answer. You can never just assume, never just assume
SoccerStar5493 0
haha no glove no love
soccersgr8 6
yeah you should've
gabstahhh 8
Isn't it kinda rude to ask for her money riiight after she died?
gabstahhh 8
Wrong fml. Awwwwwwkward.
andrewboygenius 4
^^^hahaha
herrobear 0
Well now you can put the diaper back on.
flockz 20
op do i smell a raise? actually no thats just the smell of all the kid pee you're gonna have to clean up.
kendallhi 9
ur related
GunnarG9 0
how do u message people on the FML app?
sxe_beast 11
Gunnar - you can't, but you can always go the official FML website on your phone and use the classic version. It can be a pain though =/. Not sure why the PMing function hasn't been added into the app yet. Its frustrating.
garrettsgirl 0
what does OP mean?? I'm soo confused!!
andrewboygenius 4
OP means Original Poster
deathmetalkill 3
Damn you 86. Damn you.
andrewboygenius 4
what?
2cacrawf 0
yeah the kids got the right idea .. you couldn't find a dipper so instead of peeing in the one he has on and having to sit in it, he pees on the floor n sits in a clean dipper .. :)
Aim4thebullseye 4
I'd be pissed if that happened to me
MrSassypants 34
92 he's saying damn you because you kept the comment string that tells something else then what OP actuallystands for. Examples: Orangutan penis, Ostrich penis, , old penis, and the occasional no penis joke orange penguin.
GunnarG9 0
ok thanks. and what does YDI mean?
Lumenoire 0
1: When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
121- it means You Dumb Investigator
GunnarG9 0
ok thanks for not being a jerk about it
crymore007 11
121 yes, donkies incest.
Matty1188 6
Even if the parent doesn't answer, they should call back within a few minutes. They left their kid with a sitter and should check for messages.
enonymous 9
121 my wife texts me YDI when we have sex it means "You Done Idiot?"
zinoxity 23
4 - Yes, because 10 year olds are mature enough to babysit toddlers.
Tessa39 0
ha I so hope that's a joke...... seriously, when you're watching children they shouldn't have enough alone time to pull that off.. if you have multiple children and they are yours that's different.. not when you're babysitting. also OP could have been caring the child while looking for a diaper to prevent this. so wether I assumed or not, it doesn't sound like OP is responsible enough to babysit a toddler.
angelpies 0
At least it wasn't on carpet..
hardcoreFML4223 0
aww my cuz dose the same thing
NomOnShroomz 14
Aww no one really cares.
BigHoshJosh 0
judging from your spelling, you do that same thing too!
eminemchick 19
cool bro..
hardcoreFML4223 0
o shut up
philipino 24
that sucks.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Be nice to her she's from jersey... so that means, she, as well as the rest of jerseys population, has a third grade reading/spelling level and has trouble comprehending words with more than one syllable... no wrry no mo hard core I got u bak.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Stfu 118
Staige40 0
lot of assholes commenting on ur comment 0.o
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Why yes I am an "ass hole."
felipe87 2
you are what you eat?
ChickenInMyKitch 4
as if to say, "take this bitch!"
bennetts211 2
I respect your comment, but your sideways picture of Nicki Minaj seems to make me unable to take you seriously.
ChickenInMyKitch 4
understandable. it's like someone put up a picture of Sarah palin and wanted to be taken seriously
Ferretface 13
Do you mean, "Take this, bitch"?
nerdfighteria 7
Nope. She obviously wanted her to take the bitch.
MrSassypants 34
99 you're correcting someone over a little mistake? I can do that to you too. You're suppose to have the question mark inside the quotation marks dumbass. Oh did I forget a comma? Are you going to correct me? It can also be without the comma. I'm not a grammar Nazi but I do know a lot about grammar. It can be a run-on. So 3 was not wrong in the first place. Meow Bitch! (=^_^=)
GRASSFAiRRY12 0
ha Ummmm?
fthku 13
Not to be an asshole, but shouldn't the question mark be outside the quotations? The question wasn't part of the quotation. Also, *supposed. I'm not a "grammar Nazi", but you calling him a dumbass for no real reason kind of bugs me, as well as doing that while making mistakes of your own.
MrSassypants 34
156 you're not an asshole and I only called him a dumbass to show it can be done without a comma, also the question mark is suppose to be inside the quotation marks. If you don't believe me, then you can google it if you want.
fthku 13
I'm sorry, but you're still wrong. He didn't quote a question, his question was part of his comment. He was correct in typing it outside the quotation.
MrSassypants 34
I know he didn't quote a question. The quotation marks are still not suppose to be at the end of a sentence. It doesn't matter anyway. We all make mistakes and especially grammatic and spelling mistakes. He made one, I made one, and so did sideways Nikki.
IcySnake 0
Clean it up with your tongue, tongues are very absorbent.
volley4eva1698 0
duct tape solves all the worlds problems
bennetts211 2
Did you mean to say "sponge," and "sponges?" or was that an attempt at being funny…?
Metal_Chick 15
sounds like you...I mean you probably just...*sigh*
atsirk 0
what is wrong with you
seeunexttuesdays 6
those are called "sponges" , icysnake. be careful of that damn autocorrect! haha.
julialoves0521 0
that was stupid!
julialoves0521 0
that was stupid!
tamoodielovesmar 1
was that supposed to be a joke? thats soo stupid
lmaoatall 6
problem solver=genius
2cacrawf 0
the kids got the right idea.. instead of peeing in dipper and having to sit in it .. he pees on floor and puts clean dipper back on
ReynshineCutting 10
Why have you spelled the word diaper "dipper" three times now? It's even spelled out in the fml.
lulututu 4
I only counted two dippers?
2cacrawf 0
haha i didn't realize that .. my phone spell checked it to dipper I guess
andrewboygenius 4
well that's nasty
CockieMonster 0
You don't say?
andrewboygenius 4
yes... yes I do say.
luki13 0
So in addition to typing it on here you decided to say it as well? Reading fml's don't cause me to verbalize but hey to each his own I guess.
rocketeer_97 1
Just use a kitchen towel OP ! haha I hope you find the diapers OP. Good luck ! (:
iAmScrubs 19
It's time to bring in my little friend who I like to call Mr. ShamWow.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
i dont think OP wants to clean up hooker blood...
wordnerd42 0
Good idea! The ShamWow guy's face could definitely help clean up a little kid's puddle of piss!
sourgirl101 29
14 I don't know if everyone will understand your joke, but I do. Lol
Lightninglord 0
14 - LMFAO! Black Guy: "A hooker tried to bite your tongue off?!?" ShamWOW guy: "Let's talk knives..." Rofl classic, :P
daisyloo 7
Hilarious!!:)
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
just wait untill the parents come home and say " she spilled applejuice." after she cleans it up, wait untill nightime and take it out of the trashcan an wring it out on her face.
bennetts211 2
That's disgusting.
volley4eva1698 0
10 I can't tell you how many things are wrong/illogical with that comment.
MrSassypants 34
10 that is not an obvious thing to do so I don't know why you have a username that is irrelevant to your comments. If you're going to something about mine, yes it's Mr.sassypants and I am sassy and so are my pants. 8)
GunnarG9 0
wow man. that's terrible. please re-think that. I don't mean to be rude, but your comment is just illogical and very wrong.
sexisgreat8 0
Yep, my nephew did that too. Lol