Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (5274)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (2563)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (2187)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8336) - you deserved it (27704)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (12435)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

#7873279
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (27906)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2632)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (5646)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: