Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he...

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 919

You deserved it 2 768

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Same thing different taste

Noob to boobs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 213

You deserved it 43 807

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 450

You deserved it 10 579

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 060

You deserved it 4 151

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 291

You deserved it 19 273

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 193

You deserved it 495 419

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 7 159

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 3 871

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 691

You deserved it 6 083

By annababyyyy - 10/11/2014 05:01 - United States - Rockville

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 644

You deserved it 7 475

barkerja 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:48

Wtf...

musicislife1995_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:05

whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.

Comments

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:03

first

musicislife1995_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:05

whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.

Temi25 6

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:59

popatia 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:11

Nasty.

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:22

I think you found him in a hospital, wondering around and asking people to help him get his shirt off.

barkerja 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:48

Wtf...

gbreck 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 23:02

agreed

jamie_leeann23 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:50

Ewww, WTF is wrong with his brain!!! I hope he was joking, because if he was serious you need to consider finding a new boyfriend. FYL

African_diva 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:36

ewwww that's disgustiing he's siick!!

me5 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:32

Utterly sick!!!

bombtastic 10

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:32

what... the... hell. he's creepy :( tell him to do it to his own nipples and see how it feels. (:

Thefog 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:14

first!

derkaderk 1

Monday 23 August 2010 6:13

wow not at all but good try

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Love Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Work Revenge Food Relatable Awkward Parents Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Money Education

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Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 889

You deserved it 341

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

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You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 073

You deserved it 48 744

Today, I had eye surgery to try and stop the progression of my eye disease. Being conscious for the surgery, I was given numbing drops before we began. My doctor started cutting my cornea before the drops took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 122

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 518

You deserved it 10 932

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 166

You deserved it 6 603

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 849

You deserved it 2 726

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 382

You deserved it 3 455

Same thing different taste

Noob to boobs

Great expectations

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