Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML
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Top comments
barkerja 0
Wtf...
musicislife1995_fml 0
whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.
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Comments (53)
swaneh 0
At least you know what turns him on. ;)
perdix 31
EPIC literary FAIL! Such a poor choice of words and disturbing imagery should land a guy in the Friend Zone with a Bulwer-Lytton prize (those are award for exceptionally bad writing -- I hope they take spoken-word entries.)
dantink 0
lol that's nasty
terriibabiiix23 0
ewww, like WTF.
thatnewyorker 0
Sounds like he was messing with you, don't get butthurt over it.
Cutieforeva10111 0
This is a lil wierd lmao umm i never expected that.
picturescrazy 24
Eww... hopefully he was joking. Even still, I'd be pissed off >.< Make your boobs off limits 'til he learns to act mature!
Ninjaface 0
On the bright side, you can stop using zit cover-up. You'll save money AND he'll never get off you!
aquanis14 0
can you say D bag with a capital D
thefernuss 0
No
CaysonJon 11
Haha
lilgazelleX 0
lmfao, WTF?! hahaa, this is crazzyy!