Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
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Top comments
ToeCutter 0
Where the **** mags & handcuffs from your Moms personal stash? Kind of disturbing.
WiseGuy79 14
I can imagine the explanation now 'Wait don't leave they are my mom's mags n cuffs!' lmao
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Comments (111)
Peytonlikesme 0
Who wants a gf cuz I'm available
SoDorable 0
did you really just say that? if ur serious ur pathetic.
7lollypop7 0
What does drinking eyedrops do to you?
buttsexchampion 0
where did your mom get the **** and handcuffs?
my_user_name 7
That sucks, but mostly you deserve it for saying "maths" if you're living in the US.
Flounder 2
LOL #22...I second that
knibbsy 4
22 and 23, refer to comment number 5 below.
HahaHokayThen 10
Did you get your freak on?
kofinater 3
if he did it wouldn't be a fml anymore, now would it?
rxmazing 0
why would your mom think that's funny...
Haha_Owned3 6
it is funny... Just sayin.. =]
KingDingALing 9
^This. Your mom is evil.
GtDriver 6
Mom win.
BadasS14 0
Cockblock!!
sukatlife 0
how bout y did the mom even have these things
planbsponserme 2
your mom is so cool. bet shes a milf too
zanzaber89 0
gtdriver. nice dfs. lol
bwhahaha_fml 10
well at least you don't have to worry about you mom getting you in trouble for watching ****?
missawesome16 0
maybe she wants to get the three-way on or that was 4 her and ur lady friend (or ur dad)
Prolusive 5
Because she has this thing called 'sense of humour' I think that's bloody hilarious. However, why would OP's mother have **** magazines and handcuffs >_<
lilyisme1324 0
Haha well I think it's funny
BenignSociopath 10
its cool offer to get ur mom a drink and put eyedrops in it. thatll teach her.
schalk 12
Yes let's put his mother in a coma for a prank
dannycoyne 0
is that wut eyedrops can do?
yoBitchAsHotAsIC 0
noo it just gives u diarhea
goomonk 2
Is that sarcasm?
knibbsy 4
A maths test, eh? At least it wasn't a sciences test or an Englishs test.
mordion 0
That's how they spell it everywhere except America. Who's a prick now?
stronghand0331 17
Still you, mordion.
suppressed08 2
He wasn't a prick until asking 'who's a prick now?' You need to learn to roll with Knibbsy, and if he's wrong just go 'Ahhh, what's he like!' :)
knibbsy 4
mordion, your point is irrelevant because OP is from the US. So its seems likes you'res stills the pricks.
mordion 0
I'm not a prick, I'm an ass. The subtle difference is that my original statement was correct. :D
TheIrishJaneDoe 8
The fact that he said "maths" is a pretty reliable indication that he isn't *from* the US, even if he lives here now.
imright24 0
Um, no it's not.
fmlsxmakexmyxday 0
Maths is infact correct. Look it up why don't you? I use it all the time and so does my family from England.
Strebor 0
you know, you could have a sciences test, if it was an overall test. and Englishs would become Englishes, #5
MAZCAR 0
Well the whole term is actually mathematics, you would'nt say mathematic now would you.
HomeAl0ne 20
Oooh, a maths debate. Can I join in? *fapfapfap*
MAZCAR 0
1.75, 3.5, 5.25 only if you know what the 52nd term would be :)
lexi_368 0
yes maths... as in short for mathematics... you'll notice both are plural so maths is actually more grammatically correct than math singular.. don't be such a smartass
beren456 1
You're wrong. we are shortening mathematics to math(ematics). so it would not be math(ematic)s. That would be stupid.
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
thank you for clearing that up, I didn't know that. mom:="win"
RKftw68 0
retard, in the uk maths means mathematics because mathematics is plural. so technically Americans are the people pronouncing it wrong. asshole
pizzasammy 0
silly uk peasants, no wonder the British empire has crumbled away
airforcebound 0
go suck a chode mordion
Raxilius 0
:o MAZCAR is it 91?
millertime6564 0
lol
kbabylvr21 10
Except op apparently lives in the United States.
ToeCutter 0
Where the **** mags & handcuffs from your Moms personal stash? Kind of disturbing.
hudson155 0
yeah lol
WiseGuy79 14
I can imagine the explanation now 'Wait don't leave they are my mom's mags n cuffs!' lmao
Mielad 0
That would be hilarious! xD @ OP, You're mom is hilarious although it sucks for you. None-the-lesssssss. HILARIOUS :L
Poepiepiesie 3
I bet his mom had it all figured out. Once you'll laugh.
Iluv2D_fml 0
You should have told her that was for later, *wink* and then throw the mags @ ur mom
deepbluesea 1
Your mother did this?!? What the hell goes on at your house? I'm not saying your mother should not have a sex life, but does she not know what a boundary is?
wdirrim 0
I bought my mom **** and cuffs for her and her boyfriend...what of it...
maryjaneslover7 0
omg that is cold but fuking hilarious god damn your moms a bitch woulda been great if the girl was into that kinda thing tho
sardonic 0
Are you SURE you wanted to teach her maths?