Kids: Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks... - FML

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 082

You deserved it 53 469

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 383

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 689

You deserved it 4 012

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 868

Go to school!

By emilee - 19/03/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 866

You deserved it 19 232

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 383

You deserved it 5 221

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 3 235

By get a grip, son - 30/05/2014 20:37 - United States - Pooler

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 10 861

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 3 062

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 05:44 - United States

Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 3 635

Next

Top comments

asianchink 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 11:55

It's deserved.

RBntM 10

Wednesday 21 March 2012 11:56

You deserve it for not believing him !

Comments

DaKillaMafia 2

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:28

Serves you well. Good day to you sir/ma'am.

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:29

If he is faking, damn he's good at it.

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:30

I've seen a vid of this kind of thing. I feel shame

perdix 29

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:38

Good actor! My dad used to say that he would squeeze bars of soap under his armpits and that could make a thermometer measure a fever. We knew not to fake around him ;) The appearance of real symptoms doesn't mean the disease isn't fake. Yet the vomiting shows real dedication to the craft of faking.

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 21 March 2012 13:42

Does the soap thing really work?

perdix 29

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:49

I looked it up and it supposedly needs to be lye soap. Back when my late dad was a kid, lye soap was more commonly available. Not that you'd use this information for evil, right?

luccmon 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 7:55

Perdix has all the best and most informative comments, as always, good sir.

Luckyman22 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:50

Well that's what you get for assuming.

BeatifulPenguin 4

Wednesday 21 March 2012 12:58

Instant karma!

courtneeymac 4

Wednesday 21 March 2012 13:02

Well, he showed you !

VictoriaSchultz 8

Wednesday 21 March 2012 13:05

Paybacks a bitch.

micahsmommy 13

Wednesday 21 March 2012 13:06

Well he's either sick or has an eating disorder. Either way best to take him to a doctor.

jujubunni5 9

Wednesday 21 March 2012 13:09

Hey! Not every kid is that one chick who pretended to have a sore throat and go home!

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Love Awkward Work Relatable Students Racism Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Parenting Kids Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Jealousy Social Media

The Top

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 866

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

The Top

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 211

You deserved it 3 000

Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 3 497

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 206

You deserved it 4 800

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came after 20 minutes of foreplay then left without even offering to get me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 093

You deserved it 8 048

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 434

You deserved it 2 164

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 379

You deserved it 4 299