Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 12:49am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

by aldfgadfklbg / 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

by sushi hater / 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

by Rawrssa / 03/13/2011 at 12:52am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

by Nerrh / 03/12/2011 at 5:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2011 at 7:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

by uncoretard / 03/11/2011 at 9:33am / Health

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

by Pain_intolerant / 03/11/2011 at 9:11am / Canada / Health

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

by jules / 03/10/2011 at 2:53am / United States / Health

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

by caqi33 / 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm / United States / Health

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

by ouch / 03/08/2011 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

by chelsea / 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm / Health