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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (2867)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

#6365107
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (4915)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:33am - health - by SeeTony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

#6359695
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/18/2009 at 8:30pm - health - by CB (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

#6358488
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34151) - you deserved it (2103)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (5384)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (6691)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

#6318323
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (27345)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9937) - you deserved it (34385)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (10977)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (48187)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7580) - you deserved it (44675)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24087) - you deserved it (14090)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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