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Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

#153348
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (196572)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

#125305
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (5263)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (5173)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9926) - you deserved it (48567)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (10693)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52652) - you deserved it (3662)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (21584)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37873) - you deserved it (7358)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11949) - you deserved it (51867)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

#75881
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (6552)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:36am - health - by fatass (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50384) - you deserved it (7993)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39922) - you deserved it (5787)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)



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