mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Heyme
France
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
heeeeeyitsbrittney
Butterfingers
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
TaintedL0v3
London, United Kingdom
Heavy session last night?
Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
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Comments (323)
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
SkoomaKi 27
Very very carefully.
Doxy 22
Talent my good man, pure talent.
slick5880 22
Looks like it's time to start putting my line of chocolate knives on the market.
boycrazy30007 12
Best way to hide murder evidence. Eat it :)
thiscrazything 1
Hey, you got blood on my chocolate!
datguyuno 5
28- hey you got chocolate on my blood!
shanemaximo 7
Well, if you ever go to prison you should be just fine.
justmethough 8
That's something to put on your resumé...
Pentium_4 27
52 - love your pic. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is an awesome movie
A100893 30
OP, that takes a lot of skill. Be proud while putting the band-aid on.
Serythvalker 7
28 & 35 - And so, OP's Pieces(TM) were created.
princev3 4
That's stupid, just don't cut yourself and you wont bleed.
K_kanaka 26
I hope there is gonna be be a follow-up on this one, cause i seriously gotta know how OP pulled this one off.
rubberduckie94 13
I am thinking it must have been frozen chocolate.
periwinkle95 10
Did she cut herself on chocolate or with chocolate? I'm confused. O_o
ArchaeologyDude1 5
How the hell did that happen????
goldsnitch 1
I cut myself with a Doritos once...
NaoPudding 8
Seriously, how does one manage to do such a thing? How??
Awsumuzzie 12
Haha 124, I cut myself eating a donut.
zombicidal 11
people she was eating leftover Halloween candy and some pedo freak put a razor in her candy
mockingjaygirl16 8
159-how did that happen? lol
Smokindevil 9
Lol
Newbs_And_Bewbs 5
You fail at life :|
le_troll 0
178- We don't do Halloween in Australia.
tatababe 1
How in hell???????
draegbomb 5
The Umpa Lumpas' ****** it up...
raefsengupta 0
I feel like that was from a TV show...
Bobissmall 13
Sharp piece of chocolate that had been in the fridge maybe? I don't know, this is more ridiculous than the time i cut myself with a crisp. Also, OP probably meant they cut their inside of their mouths, not normal skin.
walc 2
Ah... Silly foreigners calling chips "crisps"...
katiedoll6 7
With great difficulty
jc10x 8
Chocolaye bunny bit him
superHydrate 4
way to go emo man!
mfjkr 10
Tis a woman my good centipede.
unjustlychicken 10
Way to go posting a dumbass comment!
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
51. Way to be a hypocrite!
princev3 4
I don't understand why people eat chocolate. It is bad for you, just like exercising.
Unlucky_Gun 0
What are you talking about? Chocolate isn't bad every once in a while. It's scientifically proven by professionals that eating dark chocolate every once in a while is GOOD for your heart. Exercising is obviously good. You my friend are stupid
tanneriscool 2
You people are **** tards. He is obviously being sarcastic about chocolate and exercising. People on the Internet are just getting more and more stupid.
chillyCholo 5
We know he's being sarcastic, he's just not funny
ZeroIce 12
Dark chocolate is good for you...
niznor99 6
145: I now dubb you "TANNERISLAMECAUSEHEISAFUCKTARD" And i steal your shoelaces for using such profane language! Wash your ******* mouth!
Havin 19
Chhhuuuummmmmmm....puh!
im_awsome 2
Tempted to lick it off.
So2011 4
Must have been some tasty chocolate.
ankoku 2
The only way to make this image mentally pleasing is if a jet pack is included.
ositoakaluis 16
are you sure it was chocolate?
niznor99 6
Kinky.
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
ManlyDunsparce 3
Some stay dry, while others feel the pain.
Googoo27 12
Looks like we know who felt the pain here...
lalalaski 3
A baby born will die before the sin.
chocol8m 6
205- I think I speak for everybody when I ask u, WTF?
himoonkey 8
255, I think It might be some of the lyrics to that song
JoeLouisBomber 9
Razor blade chocolate
thisiscat 14
Someone is trying to tell you to stop with the chocolate.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Didn't your mother always tell you to check your Halloween candy?
crimsonprodigy 15
Thats one way to shave...
ankoku 2
Sounds like Some dark chocolate!
jtthegr8 26
Ehhh i stabbed myself with a spoon once on accident...
Swiftly 0
What the hell?
yummy_richkid 3
What the actual ****?
heilheather 7
da fuq?
BAxSoulCity 1
Thats what i said about your profile picture
NoYDI 4
You're a wizard Harry.
niznor99 6
I award 5 points to gryffindor for the Harry Potter reference.
Crlnprz 11
and i thought i was dumb for cutting myself with a butter knife bu accident once....
Doxy 22
Well just cause she managed to cut herself with a piece of chocolate doesnt mean you're not dumb for managing to cut yourself with a butter knife.
ankoku 2
Don't worry, you still are! ;)
SunshineX7 17
...or dumb for typing like a blindfolded giraffe. Yeah, a blindfolded giraffe. It'll be hard for someone to get offended at that. Besides said giraffe.
danandphil 12
maybe the chocolate had just come or of the fridge or freezer?
Aboss786110 0
That's pro why so upset?
bellakaykid 6
That doesn't sound too sweet... Go sucky puns, go!
22cute 17
That's rich!
Jakesterk96 8
Reese's cuts.
hubla 0
Can some one say bitter sweet
Namerkp2 8
We should "kiss" it and make it better.
Insane_Tea 15
I bet this fml post got quite a lot of "snickers".