Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Top comments
incognito1520 20
She's just trolling you.
21jason 9
At least she didn't decide to quit having sex!
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Comments (140)
incognito1520 20
She's just trolling you.
JosherMan 0
That blows.
FMLandurstoo 9
That puffs.
Roevera 14
Gosh. That's horrible of her. Its like when you finally gain the motivation to start a diet and someone in the house orders pizza the same night.
SecretMe00 5
Dude, not trolling but rather being a bitch. Why would she do that? Sounds like a selfish, conniving bitch.
Codezlol 21
I am guessing you are over 18/21 if you are a married couple. She is an idiot to start smoking at that age. A lot of people make that mistake when they are young and dumb.
Damn_Hippster 11
Successful troll is successful
diceplaya 12
She's just making use of those left over cartons! Can't waste them
ankoku 2
Don't give in!!! Or if you do wait till she quits!
skullcandifiedDJ 5
Tell her to get "conveniently" diagnosed with lung cancer on a same day as well
jomo111 5
69 likes our dislikes!!!!
jomo111 5
Or* fml
jomo111 5
Or* fml
andyyroxx 20
Leave.
FYlife604 18
almost 1st
21jason 9
At least she didn't decide to quit having sex!
DrMime 10
Ach-hem. Please read comment 11, thank you.
grahambertus 11
Except since his is comment 3 that means it came BEFORE comment 11.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Sounds like DrMime has a case of "Attention ***** Commenter Syndrome", or AWCS. Just mail me my money for that diagnostic and i'll be on my way. :)
DrMime 10
11 comes before 3, don't y'all know your ABC's???
21jason 9
Wait 3 is before 11? No wonder why it was so hard to copy him.
DrMime 10
Ach-hem, read my profile info. Thanks.
CareFace 16
She decided that a loooong time ago. Married couples and regular sex is like eating onions and ice-cream.
whosays1 7
Stay strong!!! ?
CareFace 16
110 - That's age playing it's part not being able to keep up to 2 times a day, not a week.
puppytaco64 8
Sharing is caring
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Where in this FML is there sharing involved? Enlighten me
jake98899889 4
Hey at least your breaking a habit. No harm their.
jake98899889 4
I re-read the FML. I'm sorry for the fail above.
Sydney92 3
I don't get it
Margemander 4
haha, I thought you used the wrong "there" on purpose.
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
You're** There**
Meraklez1013 9
Don't u hate wen that happens!!
4Legend 0
*you *when If you're going to make a comment at least don't make yourself look like an idiot in the mean time.
PaulB123 11
Meantime*. Unless you are referring to time that is unkind, or the average elapsed time. How ironic.
DrMime 10
Eyeronic* Not even a real word, I just wanted to feel special by joining this thread :D
elephantom12 9
****** Boob* That is all.
FMLandurstoo 9
That's too convenient.
Urbanchiller 0
She is just want to make you feel how she felt for whatever many years you smoked. Women Logic.
RhylinnMarie88 0
Women....;)
LiveLaughFML 10
You can't live with them, but you can't live without them.
kimmi41509 10
Sounds like you have a little bit of a pickle to handle with her.
Calen5556 0
I read this in quite a perverted way.
kimmi41509 10
You can take it any way you want it. (you can also take that in a perverted way)
DrMime 10
It's a situation of negative equilibrium, she smokes: you stop. You're horny: she's tired. You cheat on her with your secretary: she proposes a three-way.
M0rt 0
Win
sabrinarock33 0
Very creepy
DrMime 10
How's that creepy?
DrMime 10
Haha, it's a picture of me. I look like a cross of Gerard Way and Johnny Depp... weird, but whatever.