Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
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Top comments
spazmattic 0
Do the truffle shuffle?
Jacobt24 19
at least OP isn't like some people and tuck their rolls into their pants with a huge bulge in the crotch area
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Comments (192)
zombieekillah93 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
let this be a wake up call to you...fatty
aprilmayjune93 0
poor girl:/
Jacobt24 19
at least OP isn't like some people and tuck their rolls into their pants with a huge bulge in the crotch area
MrMonk 5
lil harsh
mfmylifesrsly 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
13 - ugh I have FUPA :(
Alexstraza_fml 5
I agree with #1, either you're wearing clothes that are making it clear you have fat rolls or you're just fat enough that it shows anyways; either way, something needs to change.
anjelicjazzy 6
that was a little mean ):
anjelicjazzy 6
that was a little mean ):
anjelicjazzy 6
that was a little mean ):
anjelicjazzy 6
that was a little mean ):
Jacobt24 19
how did u get a quadruple post?
anjelicjazzy 6
sorry for posting so many my phone fell and posted more than once i didnt do it to be annoying
changetheworld 0
Fake being pregnant..? If it makes you feel better then what the hell.
Jacobt24 19
ha alright
swittig 0
13 - that is known as a "meat hump." Giggity.
Jacobt24 19
Even if it's a girl?
swittig 0
Yes, they shouldn't have anything down there so if they do it is meat.
sxe_beast 11
Not sure why number 1 is being thumbed down. Being nice doesn't help anyone.
Tektite 14
Bahahaha! Owned. What did you end up telling him? "Nope.. That's just one of my rolls.." *pulls out a doughnut*
iluvGB 0
hey!!! u shouldnt say that to someone!!!! I used to be REALLY fat but I couldn't help it!!!!!! ASSHOLE.
Jacobt24 19
apparently you could if you used to be fat
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
13- omfg that's gross as he'll I hate that DX
urdirtyolduncle 15
Let the guard get real close to you to inspect it and when the time is right, the fat roll will attack!!
xCocobirdx 0
Aww FYL :C
JoeTheMan12 0
he wanna squeeze those rolls ;)
JoeTheMan12 0
he wanna squeeze those rolls ;)
Tjack_attack 0
mean while usain walks through security while 4 people pat down mr McFattty
ThatFunnyDude 3
^ that comment
Person1233 13
Usain Bolt?
Tjack_attack 0
usain mahama
EricaCookies 0
He should have said, "Well I've been trying, but this weightloss plan isn't really working for me.".
spazmattic 0
Do the truffle shuffle?
CrazyDude19 3
lmfao yes aha xD
Javalounge 0
Uh oh! Hope you don't get charged for extra luggage xD
LordGoober 13
If anything she would be charged for a 2nd seat
jglenn88 0
do it! bitch slap him take his taser and use it on him. :)
manbeast2 2
lolz
alpaquette91 9
haha spare tires aren't aloud on plains ;)
aly2k8 0
planes
alpaquette91 9
eh it's 3am I can say I don't give a ****
playboyintown 4
still give a **** to be around?
alpaquette91 9
come again?
je_suis_fml 11
*allowed. I have a sneaky suspicion that the late hour has nothing to do with...
ohthebloodygore 16
5, you're an idiot.
alpaquette91 9
lol I suck :( I'll admit it and accept all cruel comments ... much deserved :/
swittig 0
36, I can come again but it will cost you $50 due to my "fat chicks need love too, but they gotta pay" policy.
alpaquette91 9
... I'm not fat you sick ****
CatEyes66 0
Haha.......Silly Quagmire :)
Jacobt24 19
36 - that's what she said
Utdforlife 4
I see nerd rage.
imustbeinsane 2
Aww come on lets not get personal here :(
KaylieBieber13 0
in bed (;
alpaquette91 9
THIS WASNT ME COMMENTING!!!!!!! my sister took my phone she is 13 I'm 20 I do indeed know how to spell and I would never be so rude! I apologize for all the rude comments. Again I'm very sorry.
TheresNoEffingwa 7
I think this comment would be ok had it not been for the winky face @ the end
haydencisahoss 6
62- There is no 4...
mfmylifesrsly 30
okay either the bag inspector is dumb or you're really fat to where your fat rolls look like pouches D: Or maybe he wanted to see you lift your shirt?...
defferwa 9
She's FAT. the last thing he wants to see is her take off her shirt lol
ohthebloodygore 16
27, some people are into that or don't mind.
DontModMeDammit 10
fhupa?
EmyB_fml 8
either way, that would be akwardddd
Jimster1712 0
you are a godess.
SydneyQ 1
I don't know.. Some of those TSA agents are pretty kinky.
tittymagic 0
more pushin' for the cushion as I like to say...
pink_raindrops 26
I'm sure you mean more cushion for the pushin'.
emeraldchicky 0
Ew?
Das_Judenburg 0
must look like you.
yourshootingstar 4
mean
alpaquette91 9
34 win!!
Das_Judenburg 0
The jersey look got to Canada, 37?
DiscoSlut 0
haha ur fat and ugly too
Das_Judenburg 0
It got moderated before I could read it :(
Blueglasscup 18
You called (hose are my initials)?
iluvGB 0
shut upp!!!! ur not so skinny either beeotcch!!
antoniocalos15 0
i know stupid bitch you ugly fat ass
Bright_Lights 14
Your initials are hose? You must have a long name
lucas18xx53 0
7- ok nice pic (ew)
bonbons96 0
yah it's funny cuz your tryin to b mean by saying ew, when we all can see that your not too skinny either! nice one.
GrandmaPearl 0
One of your breasts!
ryanst 7
Is smaller than the other!
emmiep1011 7
awkward...
a65438 0
yes it is akward
hiyourcute 0
65, was that an attempt to "correct" her spelling of the word awkward? Hahahahaha
pink_raindrops 26
Lol I love when people try to show others up by correcting them, but make a bunch of mistakes themselves.
kickazz16 15
aw maybe it could give you some motivation!
playboyintown 4
A good thing is that you can roll when you get tired of walking.