Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
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Top comments
spazmattic 0
Do the truffle shuffle?
Jacobt24 19
at least OP isn't like some people and tuck their rolls into their pants with a huge bulge in the crotch area
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Comments (192)
CommonSenseKarma 17
Okay, here, I'll show you: "Hey, mind the fat rolls, I'm overweight, embarrassed, and I'd rather do shit about it and post it on FML." There. Happy? Problem solved?
k8izgr8_fml 0
thank youu! someone that finally doesn't have their head up their ass and makes a little sense
dinodannyrawr 5
yo so fat that u need cheat codes for will fit... heheheheh
davidisbeast 12
that's messed up u dick
RandomChickXD 0
yeah wii fit does shit for weight loss anyways
jacksonclarke 0
"don't worry. that's not drugs. I'm just a fatarse..."?
ryanst 7
Is it wrong that I read this with an Asian accent?
hellokeroppi 5
I'm sorry;/
cbz88 0
you didn't know how to tell him it was one of your fat rolls? it's not something I would have imaged to be too hard...wouldn't you just say, "that!? that's one of my fat rolls". lol
pink_raindrops 26
Yeah, loud and proud. Lol
SGT_DBL 15
On the one hand airport security is totally out of control these days. You pretty much have to agree to be sexually assaulted on national TV just to get on an airplane these days. On the other hand, NO FAT CHICKS. YDI.
kittyistwix 2
whenever someone calls you fat, just look at them and say: " when you are willing to pay to get me liphosuctioned THEN you can complain" :D xD
SGT_DBL 15
"I won't pay for an expensive surgery you don't need, but I will contribute a few bucks to a gym membership if you agree to pay for the rest by cutting back on the triple whoppers with cheese."
kittyistwix 2
>.< okay, you win. But in all honesty, who would think to say that? other that you.
ChuckNorriss_fml 0
90 is a fatty
xJudii 5
That's extremely rude.
ryno101 3
time to hit the gym fatty
Foxy_On_Fire 21
that's mean don't hate asshole
fairymacabre 7
agreed.no fat chicks :I