Love: You what now?

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 166

You deserved it 3 287

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 174

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 9 689

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 4 650

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 930

You deserved it 3 122

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 130

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 1 873

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 04:46 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 814

You deserved it 2 740

Detective work

By broken vows - 15/03/2014 21:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 457

You deserved it 4 849

By ballnchain - 30/03/2010 16:04 - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 542

You deserved it 19 960

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 5 316

perdix 29

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:22

She probably just had the taste of penis on her lips and got confused. Honest mistake, no harm done :D

massinator5 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:25

Those magazines are evil, man

Comments

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:12

And maybe her own butthole too. If she can.

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:16

She should taste test it against his own penis as a comparison, just to make sure it wasn't simply the taste of him.

Kateyez_26 13

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:17

Cosmos aren't ruining relationships, they're just for entertainment purposes. It's the stupid bitches that actually do the stuff in them that are ruining relationships.

lysx84 24

Saturday 31 August 2013 10:40

I don't understand all the grief Cosmo is getting on this, unless it's different in America...?

harrypotter4evur 15

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:23

I'm not even going to ask why she knows what penis tastes like. :/

Shrike 23

Saturday 31 August 2013 5:01

This actually made me burst out laughing, but for all the wrong reasons.

Cazz91 21

Saturday 31 August 2013 8:17

Well you see...when two people have sex, there is an oral activity for both partners that they can do to each other. One activity to indicate what a penis may taste like to one of the partners is called a ******** or sucking ****/ dick / penis. To start that activity off, you insert the penis into your mouth. You're welcome.

graceinsheepwear 33

Saturday 31 August 2013 8:59

Maybe you are a little young for FML.

flashback_fml 14

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:24

You be sucking dick bro lmao jk

BlueRainDude 11

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:27

I'm sobbing dude

ArchangelOKC 8

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:28

What kind of psycho would vote "You deserved it" on this!?!?

jmcr 27

Saturday 31 August 2013 8:43

It must have been his wife making a new account so she could YDI him over and over

Epikouros 31

Saturday 31 August 2013 10:28

The FML app and the mobile site are designed to make people click the wrong button. Why? Because this site is run by people who enjoy other people's misfortune, from the country that produced the Marquis de Safe.