Love: You what now?

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 166

You deserved it 3 287

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 174

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 9 689

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 4 650

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 930

You deserved it 3 122

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 130

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 1 873

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 04:46 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 814

You deserved it 2 740

Detective work

By broken vows - 15/03/2014 21:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 457

You deserved it 4 850

By ballnchain - 30/03/2010 16:04 - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 542

You deserved it 19 960

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 5 316

perdix 29

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:22

She probably just had the taste of penis on her lips and got confused. Honest mistake, no harm done :D

massinator5 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:25

Those magazines are evil, man

Comments

ksks1234 33

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:32

Op-- Cosmo has some insane revenge articles, you might want to be careful.

herf23 3

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:33

She's cheating!!!

herf23 3

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:33

She's cheating!!!

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:34

"LET ME SMELL YO DICK!" Crazy women!

x_the_lancer_x 13

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:35

At this rate she will run off on you if you fart and the smell lingers longer than normal.

MEM0817 18

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:36

No, Tito. Just.... No.

ULie909 8

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:36

Wow!!! U taste like penis!!! Lmao!!

FeatherTips 10

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:40

Typically aren't the ones who claim one is cheating due to some bull shit excuse like that, cheating themselves?

wobbley 9

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:40

Whatever happened to trust.

brackaman 18

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:55

It got caught cheating on its girlfriend because of the lingering taste of penis on its lips and lost all of its credibility.

catchmenow1 21

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:41

Oh Cosmo, causing issues again.

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Relatable Health Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 150

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 995

You deserved it 2 325

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 498

You deserved it 6 879

Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 40 514

Today, I was suspended from school for “being involved in a fight.” The other girl beat me up while I didn't do anything to defend myself, for fear of getting in trouble. She got off scot free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 126

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 719

You deserved it 8 782

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 331