Today, according to my husband's brother, he only went on a second date with me all those years ago because I gave him head on our first date. His father and stepmother supported this claim as well. I can’t decide if I’m more embarrassed they know, or furious that he told them something so crude. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my husband told me that his brother has told him that we slept together years ago. We didn't, it's a lie, and I'm so shocked that at first that I was convinced that this must be some sort of joke that I'm waiting to hear the punch line for. It turns out my husband was completely serious and needless to say we argued about it. FML
Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I introduced our parents to each other, and they seemed to have already met somewhere, so I asked them about it. At first they seemed shifty, then guilty, then admitted everything. They’ve actually known each other for decades as part of the same swingers group. FML
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Top comments
Plop 17
Do you have issues with women doing what they want with their mouth?
rgkkk 17
Hard news to swallow, I bet
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Comments (6)
cuz803 46
It's wrong of him to bring it to light but why the Hell would you give oral sex on the FIRST DATE?! Were you down bad desperate? Coerced? Inebriated? WHY?!
RichardPencil 32
Lots of girls have sex on the first date, oral and beyond. It will either be a one-night stand or grab the attention of the guy. It's a strategy that saves time.
Plop 17
Do you have issues with women doing what they want with their mouth?
Jon Tessler 14
I guess he has never been in that situation
Hangryko 32
Absolutely he hasn't.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
As OP proved, THAT'S how you get a second date.
1known 34
You do what you want on a date, whether first or hundredth date, as long as you both consent!
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. Hahahaha! It was bad taste to tell his family, and I'm sure you've had enough with bad taste.
rgkkk 17
Hard news to swallow, I bet
Jonkbaby 23
What are you doing Tuesday?
JackWood 21
Hey you got the second date, is your last name Goodhead?
Mysterious_one 26
sad to hear that , I hope he doesn't more intimate stuff to his family after marriage too