Going through the week like By Lewis - 24/01/2019 19:00 Yup, it's pretty much like it... I agree, your life sucks 273 You deserved it 112 Share Tweet Share
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML I agree, your life sucks 8 918 You deserved it 55 366
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 364 You deserved it 911
Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 081 You deserved it 35 507
Today, I was leaving a café. I pushed confidently on the glass door… which didn’t move. I pulled. Nothing. I pushed again, harder. Still nothing. A barista finally yelled, “Other side!” as I realized I’d been wrestling with a decorative wall mirror. FML I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 356
Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 100 You deserved it 3 767
Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 823