Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
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Top comments
heyhihello95 12
You can never win with those bumper stickers.
Micayla 12
And this is why I hate people.
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Comments (113)
soprano23 8
Sounds like she needs Jesus.
katejones 8
There's a song about this by Antsy McClain called ' I got just flipped off by a silver haired old lady with a honk if you love Jesus sticker on the bumper of her car ' ( seriously)
Dynosaur_dollie 38
I just googled that, because I was thinking that seems like an unlikely song title. I'll be damned though it really exists. huh.
ball_is_life 2
not her car
Steve95401 49
Jesus loves OP. Everyone else thinks he's an asshole.
perdix 31
No one seems to appreciate the irony of my bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love silence."
Hatilic_ 10
You did say she's a little-old lady, she probably forgot she put it there... or she doesn't love Jesus as much as you...
reaxion 25
Yes, once again we see the hypocrisy of religion.
LilFlutter 10
Or just the fact that nobody is perfect, which is why we're all in need of the Savior. We all make mistakes and mess up and have bad days sometimes.
rokolodo 10
Granny strikes again! Even when they do something stupid while driving. When you pass them n see its grandma. I usually apologize n give m a free pass. N pray I don't go to hell.
Quietmania 2
Just wait until she gets home and sees it.
joea21 21
That's the coolest old lady ever