Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
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Top comments
heyhihello95 12
You can never win with those bumper stickers.
Micayla 12
And this is why I hate people.
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Comments (113)
worldclassrager 41
I never do what the bumper sticker says...it usually doesn't pan out like you want it too...
KBurns207 17
I seem to not be able to drive any more without getting angry at idiots. You can't even do something nice anymore without catching shit for it somehow. -_-
jw90 18
This is why I'm atheist.
Snowkeys 11
I hope you don't take the "if you're going to ride my ass atleast pull my hair" stickers to seriously.
RedPillSucks 33
I do, unless of course, the driver is a guy.... or bald... or a bald guy...
alwayswinning123 7
Very bad timing op
Nick_Le_Geek 10
Gotta love old people.
KingreX32 21
what an idiot.
brandoneyez1 25
She forgot she had the sticker but brought it on herself. I would have responded Jesus loves u! A simple reminder!
martinfml 8
It is kind of your fault, even though your intentions were good. She thought you're one of those impatient jerks.
Grayness_ 26
I would've honk her twice