Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
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Top comments
heyhihello95 12
You can never win with those bumper stickers.
Micayla 12
And this is why I hate people.
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Comments (113)
Angelrose2004 17
This reminds me of a time when my brother put a sticker on my old crappy car that said, "honk if parts fall off." Everyone behind me felt the need to honk and it made me so dang mad, because I couldn't figure out why everyone was honking! But he's the one with it now. :)
crisanba 18
Obviously the concept she gave was too much for her to handle
perdix 31
She was probably a Satanist and wanted her enemies to reveal themselves. Those devil-worshippers can be so crafty and cunning!
Jazer22 10
Old lady's are dangerous.
MidnaLink 35
Pay no attention to the bumper sticker, they just wanna make you look idiotic.
Bad_People_r_Bad 3
YDI for supporting Jesus
randm_dude 9
Hum, next time I visit the states, I ought to get a bumber sticker. "Gimme your purse if you love Jesus." Seems easier than becoming a Televengalist.
Enslaved 38
Jesus freaks don't care for horny people. :P
Mookiisfabulous 15
I am going put a bumper sticker on my car saying 'Honk if you hate old People'... I wonder how many honks I will get?? To the FML: My friend honked for one of those bumper stickers and she got the middle finger from that person. I laughed.. It was an old lady too. It made my day!! I have never let her down about that day. I really think that old lady did it to troll people...
ShakeDisPlace 10
Damn, who peed in her cheerios!?