Pfft. Muggles.

Let me tell you something about Lord Voldemort. We were bestfriends in middle school. I know right soo embarrassing. I don't even.. whatever. Then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Harry Potter. Who was like totally gorgeous but then went to Hogwarts. Voldemort was like weirdly jealous of him. If I blew him off to hangout with Harry. He'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday I was having an all wizards pool party. I was like "Voldemort I can't invite you, because I think you're evil!" I mean, I couldn't have an evil wizard at my party.There were going to be wizards there in their bathing suits! I mean right, he was evil! So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her. It was so retarded. Then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him. He came back in the fall and his nose was gone and he was totally evil! Now I guess he's trying to kill Harry.

lol

#57 that was really.. unnecessarily amusing.

But isn't voldemort like much older?

#57, that was awesome, necessarily!

Mean Girls and Harry Potter are even better together.

This made my day. Thank you for this

Lol no problem. I seen this yesterday on Pinterest. Then I waited for a Harry Potter fml to post it since it made mine too.

#57 Man, what a story you can tell your kids!

To be honest Dumbledore wasn't much better than Voldemort.

I agree, 102.

I mean, all Voldemort did was kill hundreds (if not thousands) of people and try to enslave the entire human race. Dumbledore made some mistakes in his teens. They were definitely both horrible people, right?

Dumbledore trained a 11 yr old teen to fight an extremely dangerous murderer.

If he's 11 years old, he's not a teen.

And of course he was gonna train him. The wizard's entire goal in life was to kill that 11 year old.

Dumbledore is the most powerful wizard alive. He could have easily beat Voldemort rather than crossing his fingers and hoping Harry won.

DON'T INSULT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IN FRONT OF ME!

Ichiya just stop, please

OMG that was amazing! Totally made my day. haha. :)

I mean I don't know any 9year old that would fall for that so...

No one asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood

Okay, not cool. Mudblood? Really? It's the 21st century here. Equality among all wizards and other magical beings.

But she could act like it is real instead of insulting her mother. Kids these days...When I was 9 I was living in a world filled with mystery, magic, might kings and all sorts of creatures. Of course I knew it wasn't real but it doesn't mean I couldn't act like it is! A little imagination doesn't hurt. Even now I like to travel to those mysterious lands of my childhood. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Better than any drug created by man. I seriously pity anyone who can't quit reality even for a short amount of time.

Hope it isnt twilight 38

#35 Does that include us Demigods?

#52
I'm no judge, but sure.

NO! We can only get true equality if we segregate by powers and skills. (I mean seriously, do you really want to put a 10 year old wizard in the same room as an Ice Titan? Trust me, that's not... cool.

When I was 5, my closet didnt take me to another world. When I was 11, my letter to Hogwarts never came. When I was 12, my satyr never came to escort me to camp Half-blood. Gandalf, I'm counting on you to take me on an adventure when I'm 50

Well.....Terrifying perhaps, but that makes her no less right.

Muggle.........

Dudley, don't ever come on FML again.

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you can only teach kids so much.. they do have free will you know...

yeah if your son or daughter steals or is a murderer, its obviously the parents fault. thats it

You don't have much experience with children? Kids can be very good liars. They'll act angelic at home and let their inner devil out once the parents are away. Many parents have no clue how evil their children are. This the reason why so many parents refuse to believe that their own child did something vicious. Haven't we all heard the legendary "My little <insert name> did that? Oh no! That's impossible! He's such a good kid."? It's always easy to blame the parents.

Sadly, that word just seems to end up thrown around in playgrounds. Kids can't automatically know why it's not OK.

To add to this, a child's world is not just their parents. School and friends have a huge influence on development and attitude as well.

#4 you never know, maybe she learned those words from school! And besides at least it was the word "retard" instead of "bitch" or "whore" I'm not saying it's ok for her to say "retard" I'm just saying that it could be worse!

Still it is the parents' job to teach them which words are naughty.

#4 Wow, don't you just seem like the kind of person who can't take responsibility for their own actions. "A child did something wrong, it must be the parents fault" Yeah not always. A 9 your old has been going to school for 4 or 5 years already, plenty of opportunity to pick up some bad attitude. Parents aren't clairvoyant, they can't tell kids not to use words they don't know they're going to use.

If she actually believed that, that would have been really cruel on your part. Imagine having your parent say that and you hopelessly wait for that letter forever. I would be super bummed out.

Hogwarts is real I'm still waiting on my letter

well damnit, I even bought my owl and wand already

Or your owl was shot by a redneck who thought it was a UFO. This is what I believe happened to mine. I can't be a muggle. I just can't.

If you were born anywhere from 1986-1997, the ministry lost your records because Voldemort had all the records of muggle born wizards burned. Now, Hogwarts has a pretty small graduating class, but everything else is filling up again.

So there's hope for 2000s babies? I know I'm two years older than the acceptance age, but I'm still waiting.

Totally explained why I never got my letter! Dammit! Now I have to live life as a muggle. =(

Seems like a spoiled kid, your own fault. Acting up like that requires consequences.

how does she sound spoiled? OP tried to motivate her to study, just like parents should. you don't know where the girl picked up on the word retard, and you can never really make sure that your kids won't use words like that.

29, if I was acting out and not doing my homework, my parents wouldn't make up some lie to try to convince me to do right. They would give me a nice butt spanking to "motivate" me.

43, there are many parents who don't believe in spanking their children, mine aren't included in that group but those parents exist

I agree with 43, and part of what 7 was saying (definitely not all). If the 9 year old was acting out and not doing her homework when told then there probably should've been consequences to her not listening. And while I understand wanting to use an incentive to motivate the child to finish her homework (which is good) I think lying to her isn't ok. Personally, I find it similar to when parents use "Santa won't bring you any presents if you misbehave, don't do your homework, etc." I don't see a reason to lie in order to get your kids to behave or do something, use discipline & consequences when they need correction and use real incentives for motivation. And discipline and consequences are not always spankings, that's what time outs, groundings and loss of toys or privileges is for.

Sounds like petunias daughter... Muggle

Petunia has a son... No daughter

I don't think you get the joke ;)

That doesn't even make sense. If you were saying the name of Harry's maternal grandmother or "Lily's sister", it would make sense

Looks like she is learning too many things too early.

I don't know whether to make a Harry Potter reference or to comment on your daughters foul mouth and lack of respect for you.

Damn, that was a good come back.

I don't know whether to tell you to shut up or shut up

32- I don't whether to stupefy you or advada kedavra you.....

Crucio is better. Make them suffer.

The daughter seems more like a Slytherin to me.

18
The daughter seems more like a Slytherin to me.

Just tell her that you'll never take her to Hogsmead! I do believe there is a Disney World with Hogsmead. One can even purchase a wand

It's in the Universal Studios parks. Hogsmead and Diagon Alley, I was there half of my vacation.

It's the most magical place in the world! :D I went almost 3 years ago in February and I can't wait to go back. Absolutely amazing. :)

(As you can see from my username, Harry Potter was basically my childhood).