Sex, Awkward and Health: Word to the wise

Word to the wise

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 04:21 - United States - Erie

Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 265

You deserved it 7 416

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Same thing different taste

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 6 798

By hunchback of notre bite - 09/08/2013 22:23 - Korea, Republic of

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 448

You deserved it 7 417

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 4 018

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 243

You deserved it 32 425

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 118

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 779

You deserved it 5 478

By cfaul001 - 29/02/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 211

You deserved it 27 757

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 273

You deserved it 2 887

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 207

Rainbow_Rhinos 23

Sunday 29 November 2015 0:47

Why would you take sex tips from virgins anyway? YDI

AviKerensky 17

Sunday 29 November 2015 0:48

Cause of injury: Lack of adhesive ducks.

Comments

dezzisaurusrex 14

Sunday 29 November 2015 4:23

Okay see, here's the thing; it's fun....if you do it RIGHT.

idk_rose 25

Sunday 29 November 2015 4:41

" Doesn't matter, had sex. " ??

cryptic_ghost 7

Sunday 29 November 2015 4:42

I'm a virgin and my friends love my sex advice, but anyone who tells you the shower is a good idea, either know what you're getting into our don't do it.

imbedderdenu 23

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:12

That's bc you didn't do it right.

cheesy_pancakes 1

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:17

It is fun. You did it wrong.

ken94 5

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:26

They sell handles for that

eddiemonster12 5

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:31

you're doing it wrong!!! fyl little man

acmariner99 25

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:56

You're just doing it wrong!

Funfunfunnot 16

Sunday 29 November 2015 5:57

Practice does make perfect...

berkeleyjake 13

Sunday 29 November 2015 6:01

virgins get their sex tips from ****. would you take driving tips from a 14 year old who watches fast and furious movies every day?

leogachi 15

Sunday 29 November 2015 11:49

@69 That may be true for most people, but I (and other smart virgins) get my sex tips from experienced people. If you don't like a tip I give you, it's because it's not your cup of tea or you didn't do it right.