Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
Rainbow_Rhinos 23
Why would you take sex tips from virgins anyway? YDI
AviKerensky 17
Cause of injury: Lack of adhesive ducks.
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Comments (86)
dezzisaurusrex 14
Okay see, here's the thing; it's fun....if you do it RIGHT.
idk_rose 25
" Doesn't matter, had sex. " ??
cryptic_ghost 7
I'm a virgin and my friends love my sex advice, but anyone who tells you the shower is a good idea, either know what you're getting into our don't do it.
imbedderdenu 23
That's bc you didn't do it right.
cheesy_pancakes 1
It is fun. You did it wrong.
ken94 5
They sell handles for that
eddiemonster12 5
you're doing it wrong!!! fyl little man
acmariner99 25
You're just doing it wrong!
Funfunfunnot 16
Practice does make perfect...
berkeleyjake 13
virgins get their sex tips from ****. would you take driving tips from a 14 year old who watches fast and furious movies every day?
leogachi 15
@69 That may be true for most people, but I (and other smart virgins) get my sex tips from experienced people. If you don't like a tip I give you, it's because it's not your cup of tea or you didn't do it right.