Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
Rainbow_Rhinos 23
Why would you take sex tips from virgins anyway? YDI
AviKerensky 17
Cause of injury: Lack of adhesive ducks.
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Comments (86)
8djht8 19
Should you consider the shower again might I recommend basic safety checks. Think "how a elderly person with 2 false hips might get in and out" you could place a towel on the floor of the shower, also a waterproof chair you can always install those grab bars. Regardless the earth is in enough of a drought so if u give up on the shower you could be conserving water thus saving the world and saving us all!
Bloodmorphed 7
sex in a shower is fun though... as long as you dont slip. tough luck op
S1N9UL4R17Y 8
sex in the shower is not as simple as people make it out to be.
Badkarma4u 17
Yeah, it really is.
ExpatInEurope 3
Taking sex advice from a virgin = taking marriage advice from a priest. Lots of theory but no real-life experience.
HashtagCarly 8
If it wasn't fun you're not doing it right
KatVa 23
I do not see the fun in shower sex.. I've tried it many times and it's just so uncomfortable. It could be the fact that the height difference between us is bad and we have to bend in uncomfortable ways but either way I do not see the fun, only hand jobs or oral is fun for me in the shower
Xion0014 20
Are you sure they weren't talking about a slip and slide? Or golden showers?
neuronerd 29
Never had a problem with slipping. Maybe the virgins gave you bad advice on positioning.
shannonmarie38 11
Shower sex is tricky, but if you can figure it out trust that it's very rewarding.
ScarletteNyte 16
I personally love it. maybe you were just doing it wrong