Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
Pelreskovich 11
That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.
perdix 31
He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!
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Comments (156)
ninjuh_wingman 29
You should be fine as long as the murderers and rapists arent using french fries as weapons.
elementalz 2
I would like to know how he's suppose to protect u from murderers and rapists to begin with if someone is coming with the intent to kill there r plenty of ways to do so without him knowing. On the way to work for example while he's at work and ur at home Etc
boofgall 16
72- sigh.
Phyre24 17
What about a potato gun? Hmm...
Locoluis 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a wuss. Sorry, but your boyfriend broke. You need a new boyfriend.
datoismyname 22
Wow you are ignorant.
GoW_Chick 15
Don't listen OP! Keep your overly enthusiastic, french fry loving boyfriend, he sounds like a winner to me. :)
FroHo 8
Here we go - again.
Johnny6speed 0
If you were a woman, I'd slap you.
lizard399 0
Imagine what would have happened if you added chili to the mix 0_o
jenniferjen 5
Maybe that is just the soft side of him?
AlexRen 21
Ha, tell them it runs in the family.
IBelongToJeebus 0
Huh?
ChaosAngel17 14
Ugh see! This is why we stick to sammiches!
TunechiXXL 0
Sammiches are delicious! But French fries are amazing as well, how bout a sammiche with a side of fries?? Total combo!
kaoriblossom 8
Would you like Coke, Pepsi, or Beer with that combo?
witchdoctor1 9
Beer. Any girl that's bring me home cooked fries a sammich stacked and a beer is a keeper in my book
GoW_Chick 15
I think that's cute that he got excited, and don't blame him french fries are delicious, especially curly fries which for some reason are really hard to find, except in bowling allies.
Yourheadache 19
Jack in the box
troggo6004 1
No Jack in the Box in Australia
nonamericandolla 6
I think it's cute that he's exited about food that she made for him...
jacquay09 3
There is a jack in the box in Australia. I found one in Bondai beach in Sydney.
perdix 31
I'm thinkin' Arby's.
Keyman1212 14
Are you incapable of protecting yourself from murderers and rapists? Who protects your boyfriend?? And I bet you want equal rights huh? If women want equal treatment as men get, they shouldn't expect us to hold doors for them, buy them everything, and protect them from murderers and rapists. There's this really shitty double standard in this world, where women expect to be treated by men BETTER, and at the same time expect to be treated as our equals. I'm happy with choosing one or the other, just not both.
Keyman1212 14
Thank you for your biting whit Alan... Maybe I'm just looking to incite a flame war.
TunechiXXL 0
Arby's!!!!!!!
desireev 18
Arby's, Jack in the Box, Bowling Alleys, Wal*Mart... There's alot of places with curly fries. I make them just about every night as a side to whatever I make for dinner.. They are delicious!
biggestfan23 11
So he showed you his soft side? I thought women are usually happy when a guy does that.
salvorican 24
Most women don't want their man to be emotional about food lol.. If he cries for French fries then what is he gonna do when he gets a whopper?
xcdog16 0
Lol mmmmmm ^ one can only imagine
WordSmyth 2
He would probably have multiple orgasms while crying. "Oh god, *sniffle sniffle* the lettuce, tomato cheese on a sesame seed bun" *mmrff* " Just too good!" *sniffle*
Krysk_fml 0
The fries must have been really good
chloe4277 0
Are u from team avo?