Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
coolmike699 26
Everyone knows you don't use a knife to make blood bottles, you use a dirty syringe. Knives are for blood buckets, or maybe blood jars, but that's it.
brianna1494 27
1. They're family is either dead or not around. 2. The family also does not have the fortune of money. 3. People can be homeless and not be criminals. 4. They can be homeless because they're single and they're job fell through. 5. Do I need to go much further? I mean seriously, have these thoughts just NEVER crossed you mind?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
fantastamazing 10
What did you do?????
Izabushel 65
There is a complement that is used in Australia, If you are a good person or do something nice, people will say "Your blood's worth bottling". We don't actually follow through with it though.
keerta_fml 14
I think he meant it as a compliment with the expression "you're so good I could bottle up your blood" but then took it too far by insisting to follow him haha. But I see him on most of my volunteering shifts and he seems harmless and friendly, just a bit awkward.