Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
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Top comments
FMLKitten 15
Just wait till next year. Then it will be no pants AND underwear.
PenguinBitch 44
Well duh, he doesn't want his pants to catch on fire from all those fireworks being lit up in the house.
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Comments (55)
TweetAnne 13
Look on the bright side, at least he isn't a nudist.
TheRandomIndian 17
Well he's half way there
OhzTP 7
That's next years resolution.
lilhellian 27
No body is forcing op to look down..
samasara 20
25. It seems hard not to. Unless your eyes are more than half shut, you'd probably see everything....
perdix 31
#10, I was expecting you to follow that with . . . Whoa-whoa, living on a prayer!
lilhellian 27
Actually it is easy.. just focus on the eyes..
FMLKitten 15
Just wait till next year. Then it will be no pants AND underwear.
ZombieSnoopy 9
if that happens its time to move out
JoeGrant 12
Unless OP's dad has been going commando the past few years, then they're in trouble.
1zar1 10
The horror!
PenguinBitch 44
Well duh, he doesn't want his pants to catch on fire from all those fireworks being lit up in the house.
sadistmonkey 19
Or from lying?
lianixj 6
No pants are the best pants
N3766 20
You'll get used to it, only 8765 hours to go.
SweetasCandy0609 28
How do you get use to not see your dad wearing pants?
SApprentice 34
Purchase a kilt for him. Tell him that it still qualifies as acceptable under the new "no pants" guideline, while making those around him more comfortable. Tell him that it will make him appear very manly. Everybody wins.
TheRandomIndian 17
Then he gets made fun of in public and OP gets grounded for being a "dumbass"
SApprentice 34
11- Why would he get made fun of? There's a man who wears kilts to work every night in my town. His wife makes them for him, these really nice khaki kilts that he wears in place of dress pants. It looks very professional. I may have some hicks in my town who might have nasty comments cross their minds, but most people barely even notice it, except maybe to smile at the unusual nature of it. True, OP's father might be the kind of stupid ass who would lash out at OP for even making that suggestion. OP should know his father well enough to know if his father would consider the idea and get a laugh out of it, or if that's just not the kind of comment that he should make. I think that if Dad has already made the decision to go pantsless then he's likely already pretty open minded, so a kilt might actually be a good suggestion for him.
TheRandomIndian 17
I think it just depends where you live
spekledworf 18
Pants are for squares. OP's dad could even grow dreads to wear with the kilt and say he's in Korn
Incognito23 15
Nothing like family bonding. . .
thefreelove 9
Long in what way? ;) Hopefully it will be hard for him to keep it up all year, but sorry OP.
Marvin_Kay 10
Well, join the party!